Solving the Missing 411 Puzzle

I like to watch videos on YouTube in my down time at work, or on my commute to and from work; which is well over an hour one way.  I am often drawn to mysterious or unexplainable phenomena.   Yesterday, I watched a video in where this man, David Paulides, and his books and movie were mentioned.  He has written books called Missing 411, and it is now also a movie.   I have not read the books, and can’t honestly say that I feel I have time for it right now, but they will definitely be on my list of well…probably over 100…books I would like to read!   But, I have watched about 6 video interviews and lectures he has given on YouTube.  Maybe more.  I first listened to a video on my drive home from work a couple of days ago.  And when I returned home, I listened to more until I actually could not stay awake any more, and fell asleep during one!   The next morning, I rewound the video back to a point I could last remember and kept listening on my way to work, and then watched more at lunch, etc.  It was slow at work today, so I was able to sit at my desk with my phone and my earbuds, and just listen.   Some of them would have a Q & A segment towards the end, and people have posed some very interesting theories as to what they think have happened.  But I never heard this one posed, and so I started looking into this on my own.

If you have never heard of David Paulides and/or Missing 411, you are probably wondering what I am talking about; so I will give you the condensed version, as I understand it from his lectures and interviews.  As I stated before, I have not read any of his books.  There may well be more information provided in them; but I do not have time or access to and for them right now.  Though, undoubtedly, they are page turners!

David Paulides was a police officer in the Bay Area of CA for about 20 years.  He earned his Master’s degree from the University of San Francisco, so is by no means unintelligent.  He has also been on searches for Big Foot, or Yeti; and claims to have seen one.  He was in a National Park doing some research and he noticed there were a couple of rangers that seemed to be following him around.  That evening, when he had gone to a lodge outside of the park for the night, he hears a knock at his door.  It’s one of two rangers, who say that they had heard of him before and read some of his work, and that they thought there was something he should look into.  So, David invites the ranger in, and the ranger tells him that he and his friend had both worked in various National Parks over the previous 15-20 years and that they had both worked missing person cases on the park properties and that in talking to each other, had discovered some eerily similar things.  They both thought that the people had disappeared in areas that were a little odd, and during the first 7 to 10 days, there was a lot of media attention and a lot of people and resources poured into the disappearances; but after that 7-10 days, there was nothing done.   He told David that there were even times when they had tried to follow up on cases or get reports, and were stone walled, etc., and they couldn’t find any information.  He said that they were concerned because of the numbers of people that were disappearing and what they thought was the lack of follow up and research into what had happened and they thought something ought to be done.

The next day, David calls a couple of his buddies and asks them if they can check into this matter; and a couple of hours later, he gets a call back and they tell him that there is something to it.   That there are a lot of people missing from National Park areas.

A short period after that, David files a petition through the Freedom of Information Act to get a list of all the people who had disappeared specifically from Yosemite National Park and from their jurisdiction.   A while later, he gets a call from an attorney wanting to know why he wanted the information.  (Which they are not supposed to use the reason you want the information as a determinate as to whether or not they will give you the information.)  David tells him that he knows this, and he is told that they are just curious.  So, he tells the attorney that he is just doing research.   The attorney tells him that they don’t have any lists.  (Which is odd that federally trained officers are not keeping track of any missing persons from the parks-not to mention a bit inept or careless, in my opinion.)  So, he resubmits a request thinking that maybe they are just playing a semantics game with him, and again, he is told the same thing from the same attorney.  So, he tells the attorney that he is going to use his exemption as an author to get the information.  The attorney says that he will get back to him, and calls him back later and tells him that his books aren’t in enough libraries for him to qualify for the exemptions.  So, David tells him that this is not part of the FOIA, and the attorney tells him that it’s their internal policy.  So, David says he will pay for the information and he would like a quote.  The first being for a list of missing people from Yosemite National Park, and then a quote for the entire jurisdiction.    He gets a call from a regional person with FOIA in Denver, and she tells David that for the list of missing persons from Yosemite, it will cost $34,000; and for the entire jurisdiction, it would be $1.4 million.

At this point, David definitely feels like there is something wrong, and he doesn’t have that kind of money.  He is more driven than ever, and begins his journey to obtain as much information as possible regarding these missing person cases.  He has never received the lists from the National Park Service to this day, even after more filing requests and even appeals.    Remarkably, the amount of information he has gotten through various channels, like interviewing other park rangers, families of the missing persons, press that had written about the cases, etc., has been astonishing.  But more astonishing is what he has found.

After David ruled out cases with things like mental illness, people who may have purposely disappeared, and evidence of animal or human predation; he was still left with a ton of cases that he had no idea what to do with, and they had some amazingly coincidental circumstances surrounding them.

One thing that he noticed, was that there seemed to be some distinct clusters of disappearances in a lot of areas.   In fact, not all, but MOST of these have occurred in clusters.  These clusters seem to be in mountainous areas along the west coast, the Rocky Mountains, Smoky Mountains, around the Great Lakes, and the northern pan handle of the country.   And nothing in the middle of the country.  (See map below.)

This is David’s map which I copied and pasted from one of the YouTube videos.  I do not claim any rights or legal ties to it.

The people who disappeared were not alone, and disappeared in what many would describe as the blink of an eye.  There one moment.   Gone the next.   He said that these people could be small children, as young as two years old, who would disappear, be gone for a while, and then reappear somewhere else, with their clothes and/or shoes missing, or clothes that are tattered and torn, or now on backwards.   They may be dead or alive, but if they are alive, they will always be unconscious or semi-conscious, with no memory of what happened to them at all.  Search dogs would find no sent, but rather walk around in a circle and lie down.  Trackers find no prints or any traces of even which direction they could have gone.   No clues, no nothing.  Just gone.  Many will never be seen or heard from again.  David says there is another commonality, in that there almost always seems to be a body of water involved.  Many who disappear are near water when they disappear, and the ones who are found later are either in, or near, water.   And often, right after the disappearance, there would be a rain or snow storm.  (Which would explain why no tracks are being found in those cases.)

He tells some amazing stories.  A two year old child who disappears and is found later 12 miles away.  (Why were they searching 12 miles away?)  Small children who are found a substantial distance away from where they disappeared, and there is no possible way any one can determine that a child could hike or even run these distances in the allotted time they were gone.  In all cases, they were missing clothes and/or shoes, or their clothes were tattered and torn, or on backwards, etc.   (There were a couple of stories where the persons were found dead with their pants at their knees or feet.)  People who were found in water were never found to have drowned as the cause of death, and in many, many cases, the cause of death was simply unknown.

There is one case where a man disappears near a lake in Michigan, and they are actually able to find his skis and backpack at the edge of the lake.  The lake is frozen over, and they see tracks going out on to the lake.   But they just stop.  They decide he must have fallen through the ice and drown and he’s considered dead.  Fifteen months later, he knocks on his father’s door in Pennsylvania; reporting that he woke up on a field not far from there in someone else’s clothes, and had no recollection of where he had been or what happened to him.  He was also found to have had a small knapsack containing maps and a few other things that he also stated were not his.   He later went back to college and got a degree in psychology.  When he was asked if he would ever seek psychiatric counselling he told them he saw no reason to, because nothing was wrong with him.

I personally don’t know what to think of this particular case, but am leaning towards this guy deciding to take some time off from the realities of life for a while.  I am not sure how you explain his tracks disappearing on top of the lake, though.  Maybe he fell through and managed to resurface somewhere else and then started hitchhiking across America.  It’s hard to say.  I just find it really “suspicious” that he has all these maps and says they aren’t his.  And, as I understand it, he has gone into psychotherapy of some kind, and that says to me, he is trying to find out what is wrong with him or what happened to him on his own, but he ain’t talkin’ about it.   He says he doesn’t need any psycho-therapeutic help because there is nothing wrong with him, but he gets his degree in it and it becomes his line of work.  I don’t know.  It definitely falls into the weird category though and is fitting for David’s book/s.

In another video regarding disappearances in cities,  David finds that there still seems to be bodies of water involved, as far as where they are found; but now we are looking at victims who are usually in their late teens or in their twenties, often college students, and have some kind of religious connection.  Many of them were going to a Christian college.  He also found what seemed to be a German connection.  Names that were German, they were studying German, spoke German, things like that.   And, there are calls made to or from their phones right before they disappear.  ( I see a picture in my head from the movie The Matrix, where they make calls and are transported to a different place!)

One young lady, who lived in Canada was visiting California and staying at this hotel with a whole lot of bad juju associated with it.  I mean, a bunch of suicides, murders, and just really bad stuff.   This gal, is caught on camera getting into an elevator and then backing away towards the corner as if she is afraid.  She peeks out the door and starts pushing buttons but the door won’t close.  She peeks out and then leaves the elevator and is never seen alive again.  This motel has four very large tanks of water on the roof.  Access to the roof is locked, the tanks are locked, and there is an alarm system.  I don’t remember how much time goes by, but there is an issue with water pressure in the motel, so the maintenance man goes up on the roof, gets his ladder, climbs up and opens this tank to find this gal floating inside of it.  The weird part?  There’s no opening big enough for her to have gotten in it.  They actually had to cut her out of it.  Then the coroner says there is not enough blood in her body to do a tox screen.  Get that?  Her body has no blood in it and she has no wounds other than a scratch on one of her knees.  Her phone, which she always had on her, was never found.

Another man who disappeared was on the phone with his wife, who was on her way to pick him up, and only less than a minute away.  He says he might lose her, and the phone goes dead.  Her husband is never seen again, but his phone is found smashed to smithereens.

One guy calls a friend and says he is in a field and the phone went dead.   Calls back and the friend hears what sounds like either heavy breathing or wind; he isn’t quite sure.  A total of four calls are made and dropped before he disappeared.  There was another guy who disappeared and a call was made to 911 for one second and then dropped.

During the Q & A segments, there are many speculations by people as to what is happening here.   Many of these people are 100% convinced that their theory is correct.  Some think it’s the Yeti, some think is aliens, some think it’s demonic.   One guy said he worked for a news show on Sunday nights and that all coroners, etc are actually FBI or CIA and plants meant to keep people from finding out what is really happening. (That wouldn’t surprise me a bit.)   He believed there was an issue with the water and contamination/disease and that these people were disappearing as part of a test regarding water contamination.    The gal found in the water tank atop the motel was named Elisa Lam.  About the time she disappeared, there was an outbreak of TB, and the CDC was going to start doing Lam-Elisa tests to see how widespread the outbreak had been.  I honestly don’t know if the gal who disappeared spelled her name the same way, but it was pronounced the same, only reversed, regardless.

One man who’s son disappeared, was approached by a couple and their kids and asked if they could all play together and the man agrees.  The kids start playing hide and seek and the woman tells him that their last name is Martin.  That’s the same last name as the man and his son.   Of course, Martin isn’t an especially rare name.  If they all had the last name Jingle-Heimer-Schmidt, I might be a little more freaked out, but I do find it interesting nevertheless.

Anyway, I by no means have heard all of the theories people may have suggested, but this is what I have found so far.  For whatever reason, I kept looking at this map that was put on during one of the videos.   I began to wonder where the ley lines across the united states were.  I had heard some strange things about ley lines and how a lot of ancient structures seemed to have been purposely built on top of them, and things like that.   That search was a mess.  Those ley lines are everywhere and I don’t know how anyone even keeps track of them!

But then, on a fluke, I saw this map, and I thought it looked rather similar to David’s map of clusters of disappeared persons.

Image result for map of vortexes in the united states

It’s obviously not an exact match, but it was close enough to get my attention.  I started looking up vortexes.  I found a lot of references to what seem to be major ones or more well known ones, such as the four around Sedona, AZ; Mount Shasta, CA, the Oregon Vortex near Gold Hill, OR; and Joshua Tree CA.  I began to wonder if there were other vortexes that were not on this map.  Indeed there were.  This site tells us there are vortexes in Arizona, Arkansas, California, Florida, Gerogia, Hawaii, Massachusetts, Michigan, Nevada, New jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, South Dakota, TX, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, West Virginia, Wisconsin, Wyoming, and the Bermuda Triangle.  (

I begin to find more matches and continue my search.  This site lists places like Crater Lake, and Mount Shasta, which I had heard David mention.   They say on this site that Crater Lake is where chiefs of the under world and the above world had a battle; and they say Mount Shasta was once part of the Pacific Ring of Fire, and that the Buddhists believe it is one of the seven sacred mountains of the world.  It lists the top 10 vacation spots for spiritual vortexes and sacred sites.  Those being, Cohokia Mounds, St. Louis, MO; Crater Lake, Medord, OR; Mount Shasta, Mt. Shasta, CA; New Orleans, LA; Ringing Rocks Sate Park, Upper Black Eddy, PA; Asheville, NC; Taos, NM; Americas Stonehenge, Salem, NH; Devils Tower, Crook County, WY; and White Sands, Tularosa Basin, NM.    (  Definitely some interesting things here.  I am a Wyoming girl, and I will say, that Devil’s Tower from an aerial view, is insane!  It looks like a giant tree stump that was cut down long ago by giants!  I have hiked around the base of it before, and I have to say, there was at the least a feeling of awe as the group ambled around it.

This sight includes  the Cosmos Mystery information in South Dakota, and I have been there.  If I had not seen these things with my own eyes…but I am a true believer now.  Although I think the ball rolling uphill could be explained much like water will travel uphill, as long as the whole terrain itself is actually downhill, there is something that is definitely different about that place.

I am beginning to put more dots on my own vortex map now mentally, and I have to wonder; is there something here?  Vortices are not necessarily the field of the whack job.  There is scientific data to support that these things are real, and do exist in many places on the planet.   In fact, probably the most famous vortex, you have probably heard of; the Bermuda Triangle.  There are many stories of ships and people disappearing here and are never seen again.   Other’s report disorientation, compasses that stop working or go haywire, watches that stop working, and loss of time.  It is a place shrouded in mystery and no one has ever been able to fully explain what happens here or in many other places around the world.

It seems that most of my research online surrounding vortices comes from people who are of a spiritual inclination.  They believe in the supernatural and are open to the idea of supernatural experiences in these places.  In fact, they are most likely hoping for them!  However, you don’t see the stories about all the people who are disappearing from any of these places.  That kind of takes the fun out of it, doncha think?

I then begin to think about the disappearances from cities, and begin to search and see if there are vortices in cities too.  I do find those who insist there are, and even a found a video where a woman named Starfire Tor (is that her real name?) and she insists that time travelling is happening and that there can be blurring and blending of realities at times.   She is not the only one talking about time travelling and travelers these days, either.  And, all these people state that with quantum physics and such, other realities are in fact, well, a reality.   Some say that they have determined there are at least 26 of them and maybe more.  Others say the number is infinite.  That there’s really only two scenarios regarding alternate realities or universes.  I would lean towards this one.  That there is an alternate universe for every decision you make, in which that decision is played out based on the decision.  You meet a guy, and there is a universe where you marry him, and a universe where you don’t.  A universe where you have kids, and a universe where you don’t.  So, the number of alternate realities would actually be infinite.  The other main theory isn’t like that, but it’s been so long since I heard about them, that I can’t remember how it goes.  The one I just described seemed to make more sense to me, and I am sure that’s the only reason why I remember it!

The point is, that there are many scientists who support the idea of time travel, in fact many try to solve the problem of how to do it!   This Starfire lady said something that I thought was actually a little profound.  At some point, time travel will be invented, and so there’s no reason why they wouldn’t be coming back in time now.  That made me think a minute.  With the exponential rate science and technology is moving now, time travel may very well be invented or solved at some point in the future.   Those in the Tin Hat Club would say it already has been by the government, and they want it kept a secret.  And I am not knocking the Tin Hat Club, as I would probably be a member!

So, say this is true.  Say that time machines have been invented by the government, and they are hiding it from us.  It wouldn’t be the first time they have hidden things from us or outright lied about things.  We know that they were playing around with this stuff way back in the 1940’s in the Philadelphia Experiment or Project Montauk.  Or should I say ALLEGED Philadelphia Experiment and ALLEGED Project Montauk?  haha  But governments do this kind of stuff.   Even Hitler was trying to figure out time travel and other things like invent his own type of UFO, and it’s no secret.   This brings to mind the German connection.  Did any of these people have ancestors tied to Hitler and his army?

So, we have all these huge areas in the United States, thousands and thousands of acres, owned and run by the US government, staffed by US government personnel, and it also generates a LOT of revenue for the government as well.  Even if the time travelling thing is off, that does not mean the vortices are not there, and that for some reason, it is causing unexplained phenomena, and that the government just cannot explain it.  And, I would venture to say that as far as the parks go, this is exactly why they made them parks, and why they want control over these areas.  They know they can’t explain what is happening, or maybe they can, but they don’t want us knowing that not only are a bunch of people disappearing all the time, but they are disappearing under supernatural conditions that cannot be explained!  There is no liability for them and/or any duty to protect us while we are in the parks over and above what they are already doing, and they don’t want to lose any of that revenue.  So, they are being very tight lipped about these things, giving out little to no information, and I am sure right now, hoping that David goes away!

I don’t understand what it is about vortices or what they can or cannot do.  I don’t know that there is really a spiritual connection with them, but it does seem plausible.   Which would open up a whole new can of worms.

But I do think that when you lay the two maps over each other with the other vortices I have found, they are extremely similar, with exception to Florida.  And that could merely be because the iron or other properties of the rocks in these more mountainous areas create a more conducive environment for whatever is causing these disappearances.   The Bermuda Triangle is nothing but water.  But we also know there is a connection to water with these cases, and these disappearances in the parks are happening at a far greater rate than in the triangle.

I think this could very well explain how a person would or could disappear in a place and end up somewhere else, even a tank that there is no physical way you could get into.  Because it isn’t physical.  It’s metaphysical.  Now, your body being completely drained of blood?  That implies something far more sinister; and/or spiritual, in fact.  I have to wonder if there weren’t others that the coroners just aren’t reporting.  Cases where the blood did not settle in any part of the body after death…is that because there wasn’t really any blood to settle?

Regardless, there are far more questions than answers no matter what theories a person puts forward; including myself.  David has his work cut out for him, if he is to solve this puzzle, and there are many who want to try and solve it with him.  Except the parks commission, that is.

I find it disconcerting that the parks are saying they don’t even have a list of missing persons from the parks.  I also have to wonder just how safe they are.  As a woman who has often hiked alone, I have to re-think the matter now and if it’s a good idea.  I often carry a weapon, but I am not completely convinced this is going to protect me from anything.  Given that places like the Rocky Mountains, Wyoming, and Montana, are open carry states and many people have concealed carry licenses, I would venture to guess that at least some of the people who disappeared were indeed packing a weapon.  But this is not something I have the answer to.  David might have said in one of his books, and until I get a chance to read any of them, or hear an interview where he discloses this information, I won’t know.

That being said, I would leave you with this note.  David recommends that no one goes into National Parks with out weapons, and a personal locator beacon on their persons.   The message here is definitely to be safe.

Maybe you have ideas or would like to start trying to solve this puzzle too.  In that case, I would say I would love your comments and feed back; and of course, happy hunting!




Wait. What? Ghost Stories at Christmas??

I have this little shower radio I keep in my bathroom and listen to sometimes as I am getting ready for work.   I pretty much only listen to the Christian station, and right now, they are blasting Christmas music 95% of the time.  Not my favorite, but whatever.  I really just want to know two things.  The weather, and if there’s another accident on the freeway on my way to work.  (There seems to be one at least once a week, if not more.)

This morning, I am not really paying attention as this man is singing, “It’s the most wonderful time of the year.”  I’ve heard it a million times.  But for what ever reason, I catch this phrase I never noticed before:

“There’ll be parties for hosting
Marshmallows for toasting
And caroling out in the snow
There’ll be scary ghost stories
And tales of the glories of
Christmases long, long ago”

Immediately, I wrinkle my forehead and wait for the phrase to come around again.  Yes, that’s what he said.  Ghost Stories.   At Christmas?

So, I start looking into it; and I found some interesting things.

Remember in my last two blogs I mention how during Halloween time, pagans believe the veil between this world and the next is thinner, and that ghosts can come through?  Well, that carries right on into Christmas time too!   In fact, when you think about it, right around Christmas time is the shortest day of the year.  Which means it’s the longest night; and since “the veil” is the thinnest, makes perfect sense right?

Alan Koszowski’s illustration for MR James’ There Was a Man Dwelt By A Churchyard

So, this telling of ghost stories goes back quite a ways, from what I can tell.   We all probably know the most famous Christmas ghost story, and Scrooge.   Well, this was actually considered by many a catapult to bring back the celebration of Christmas in England.

You see, when Dickenson’s A Christmas Carol came out in 1843, they weren’t really celebrating Christmas in England at that time.

It was the same here in the United States (though perhaps a different time frame and for different reasons).  In fact, for a long time it was actually against the law to celebrate Christmas here; because it is actually a pagan holiday.  Back then, many Christians understood this, and wanted no part of celebrating a pagan holiday.  Because God says in the Bible we aren’t to worship false gods or mingle the holy with the profane;  and that’s basically what Christmas is-trying to mix something holy with something profane.  But over time, things have changed.  Now, it’s “the most wonderful time of the year.”    Well, to a lot of folks, anyway.  It certainly is a big deal here in the States, and it’s generally accepted that most people will observe this holiday.

This article by Jim Moon ( does a great job, in my opinion, of telling us about the ghost stories at Christmas phenomena; but even this author does remind us that there is a pagan origin to Christmas altogether in this paragraph:

“Now as I’m sure most of you will be aware, much of what we take to be part and parcel of Christmas comes not from the Christian religion but from a variety of pagan festivals that took place on the winter solstice such as the Germanic Yule and the Roman Saturnalia. Indeed when one begins to examine the ancient past, it seems that there has always been a holiday on the shortest day of the year which has involved fires, feasts, gift giving and bringing evergreens into the house.”

Just like the name sounds, the Saturnalia holiday is the worship of the god Saturn.  (Though other gods and goddesses came into play as well.  Yule is still celebrated by witches/wiccans, and my former office mate loved to tell me every year how she was celebrating yule.)

Jim goes on to say that it’s assumed that during that time  “stories were told of gods and monsters which explained why the days would grow so dark, and our telling of ghost stories is an echo of these spiritual and religious recitations and rituals.”

He then says that if that were true, there is no proper evidence to prove it and that “the standard scholarly view is that there is nothing to point to the existence of the tradition in pre-Victorian times.”

Although, Todd Atteberry, in his rather….dark…website, references Jim’s thought, and provides more insight as to this telling of ghost stories going back even further, into at least the 1500’s.  (  I didn’t spend much time there.  That site is a ghost story!

However, I have to wonder.  Why was it assumed that during Saturnalia, folks told stories about gods and monsters?  How did this turn into stories of ghosts? That type of thing usually comes from somewhere.   But at this point, I am not finding any evidence of it either, so perhaps we will find out later!

Saturnalia was definitely the pre-courser to Christmas, and if you look into it, sources are rather straight forward about it.  Saturnalia was also called the most wonderful time of the year.  Isn’t that interesting?

Saturnalia was a pagan holiday in worship of the god Saturn; complete with sacrifices, and the making and giving of little figurines, which may very well have been little idols.  There is only speculation as to what they actually were, they seem to only know that people made these and gave them to each other at the end of the holiday, which was usually around the 24th/25th.  It is speculated it could also be that these figurines were meant to represent those that were sacrificed.  Other sources say the sacrifices were not human.  So, again, they are guessing, or not being up front with us.  I personally think they were, as that was a common practice; but since we are talking Christmas here and trying to keep things “upbeat” we aren’t going to tell anyone they were sacrificing people or babies.  Just wouldn’t be right.

But this source here makes no bones about it when they describe some of what happened during Saturnalia:

Roman pagans first introduced the holiday of Saturnalia, a week long period of lawlessness celebrated between December 17-25.  During this period, Roman courts were closed, and Roman law dictated that no one could be punished for damaging property or injuring people during the weeklong celebration.  The festival began when Roman authorities chose “an enemy of the Roman people” to represent the “Lord of Misrule.”  Each Roman community selected a victim whom they forced to indulge in food and other physical pleasures throughout the week.  At the festival’s conclusion, December 25th, Roman authorities believed they were destroying the forces of darkness by brutally murdering this innocent man or woman.”

And who is the “Lord of Misrule?”  I ran across this a few times in my searches, but there was never any elaboration as to who or what that was about.  But, to my knowledge, the only Lord of Mirule is the devil himself.   I have to wonder if that’s why no one bothered to delve into that further.    In my search of this, I can only find that in Scotland this person is called the Abbot of Unreason, and in France, the Prince des Sots.  Other references to this person are fool.  Crowning a fool king for a week, basically.  Which was part of the celebration.  The reversal of roles, which in and of itself have more spiritual implications I won’t go into here.   But the fact remains, it does seem that several sites are trying to sugar coat this thing called Saturnalia.

However, I found in this site, that they really lay it out for you here and just how down-right evil this holiday was.  Here is one example:

The ancient Greek writer poet and historian Lucian (in his dialogue entitled Saturnalia) describes the festival’s observance in his time.  In addition to human sacrifice, he mentions these customs: widespread intoxication; going from house to house while singing naked; rape and other sexual license; and consuming human-shaped biscuits (still produced in some English and most German bakeries during the Christmas season.

Or this:

Some of the most depraved customs of the Saturnalia carnival were intentionally revived by the Catholic Church in 1466 when Pope Paul II, for the amusement of his Roman citizens, forced Jews to race naked through the streets of the city.  An eyewitness account reports, “Before they were to run, the Jews were richly fed, so as to make the race more difficult for them and at the same time more amusing for spectators.  They ran… amid Rome’s taunting shrieks and peals of laughter, while the Holy Father stood upon a richly ornamented balcony and laughed heartily.”

This link is one I would definitely check out for good information regarding this holiday that has metamorphoszed into Christmas.   It has roots in some very ugly things, and here is one last example:

As part of the Saturnalia carnival throughout the 18th and 19th centuries CE, rabbis of the ghetto in Rome were forced to wear clownish outfits and march through the city streets to the jeers of the crowd, pelted by a variety of missiles. When the Jewish community of Rome sent a petition in1836 to Pope Gregory XVI begging him to stop the annual Saturnalia abuse of the Jewish community, he responded, “It is not opportune to make any innovation.”[6]  On December 25, 1881, Christian leaders whipped the Polish masses into Antisemitic frenzies that led to riots across the country.  In Warsaw 12 Jews were brutally murdered, huge numbers maimed, and many Jewish women were raped.  Two million rubles worth of property was destroyed.

They go into far more detail about the holiday and the rituals and practices around it, such as mistletoe being used to poison people who would later be sacrificed, etc.  I just don’t have time to go into everything I found there; but do believe it to be a wealth of knowledge.  Though I didn’t find anything more about the telling of stories about monsters or ghosts.

In closing, I will leave you with this last quote from there, as I think they say it better than I could:

Many of the most popular Christmas customs – including Christmas trees, mistletoe, Christmas presents, and Santa Claus – are modern incarnations of the most depraved pagan rituals ever practiced on earth.

Talk about ghost stories….that is some scary stuff.

It’s Magic!

When I last wrote, it was long about Halloween time; and I had a few things to say about the dangers of that ancient holiday of Samhain, which we now call Halloween.  Of course, as expected, it was not well received by some, and that’s okay.

Interestingly, in my research, I did not come across this little gem at the time.  I have been contemplating the modern technology of today, and have heard a few people refer to our TV screens, smart phones, et al as “scrying mirrors; and the more I learn about things we are shown in certain shows and movies, etc., the more I have had to wonder if there isn’t some truth to it.   So, the first thing I did, obviously, was google “scrying mirror.”  The top of the list is this article, which talks about Samhain, and making your own scrying mirror for this time of year when they believe “the veil between our world and that of the spirits is at its thinnest, and that means it’s the perfect season to look for messages from the metaphysical.”   Their words, not mine; and here is the link.

That being said, here is just one more source one can check out regarding what a lot of people are doing on this so-called harmless holiday we now call Halloween.   But that is not the purpose of this writing, as I have stated earlier.

I thought that in order to have anything of any relevance to say on this subject, I would first need to know what exactly a scrying mirror is.   Well, the link above is pretty self explanatory.  It is something used for divination by looking into a reflective surface like, as they mention, water, fire, glass, or dark stones; “to see what messages, symbols, or visions may appear.”

I personally also found the photo of the example a bit disturbing.   They had written around the edge of the mirror they made the phrase that says, “Thee I invoke by the moonlit sea, the standing stone, the twisted tree….”  and they have three pentagrams at the bottom.

This of course, makes me wonder who exactly “thee” is, for starters.  But then, knowing that the occultic world is inundated with symbols, I also have to wonder what they are referring to when they call by the sea, the standing stone, and the twisted tree.   I immediately think of the tree of knowledge of good and evil when I see the words “the twisted tree.”  We often think of trees and knowledge being associated with each other.  But here, they add the word twisted.

So, I google the phrase and find this.  A picture “inspired” by a poem called  Invocation of the Horned God written by Doreen Valiente (Wonder if that’s her real name?) which contains this phrase.  The picture is not something that makes one feel warm and fuzzy.  At least, not me.   But we now know that this phrase comes from this poem.   And this poem inspires people….to….well, you fill in the blank.  I am  not inclined to believe it inspires “light and love” though.    And of course, this picture is full of symbolism itself; I assure you.  I don’t have time to get into that here though, and would want to do more research into it first anyway.

Moving on.   Thoughts:  Magic is just something science hasn’t been able to explain yet.    How many of us have heard that before?  I have, a few times.  To a logical person, this makes sense.  Right?   And science is, after all, in many ways, the new religion of the world.  The new “God” so to speak.   But I have to wonder, if in fact, science is just the new form of witchcraft.  Of magic.  I have to wonder if scientists aren’t the evolved sorcerers and wizards of old.  I’ll tell you why.

These are the connections I am making in my mind.  Who were the sorcerers and wizards of old, and what kinds of things did they do?  Well, we know the obvious things.  Divination by means of various means or tools, such as scrying, to reading tea leaves, reading tarot cards, the use of crystals and other stones, and alchemy.   Just to name a few.  Over the years, in the “hippie” age, we saw the use of drugs to “open the mind’ and induce visions.  The natives have used and probably still use things like peyote and other such herbs and plants to do this, even today.  There was a fascinating book series I read long ago about a man on a journey to discover himself and spirituality by this means, and I wish I could remember the name of it.  Perhaps it will come to me before I am finished here.  But you see his spirit guide telling him things like, “find your spot” and his struggle to even understand what this meant.

Now, as many of you may know, I grew up the daughter of a Pentecostal Preacher.  I have had the belief of the Father instilled in me from an early age.  Just about the time I started third grade, my dad took his first church and we packed up our beautiful four bedroom bi-level home in a nice neighborhood of Lakewood, Colorado, and moved to Podunk Kansas.  Hoisington, Kansas, to be exact.   I think I can honestly say, none of us were truly happy there, and we only stayed a year.   Then we moved to Oberlin, Kansas; but it was again, very small.  I don’t think my brother or I minded that so much, but my mother did.  She liked being in a bigger city and didn’t care who knew it.   As I started the seventh grade, we moved to Lander, Wyoming, and I was happy with the thought of having a radio station that actually played something other than old country music.   I could even hear some top forty on the radio in Lander.   That was a big deal to me at that age!

By the time I was nearly seventeen, I had associated a belief in God as all these things I could not do or enjoy.  Things I believed were perfectly harmless.   I had not been allowed to go to dances, even Home Coming or the Prom.   I could only go to certain movies, and no concerts, whatsoever.   I had come to see the belief and worship of God as nothing more than limited choices, or no choices at all.   Even living in small towns implied this, as small towns do not offer many choices either.    And while Lander was bigger than the towns we had previously been living in in Kansas, it was by no means the equivalent of being in a bigger city like Denver, or even Casper-where we had to go if we wanted to shop at a mall, or enjoy McDonald’s  and things like that.

I got married and moved with my new husband to California, and I didn’t go to church for many years after that.  In fact, I would be nearly 50 before I would come back to God completely, and only went to church sporadically over the years, quickly losing interest, hungry for more than was being offered, never feeling satisfied, and admittedly, not liking people much.  Which I still have to pray to the Father to help me with!

In my mid twenties, I came across a book at the library about Edgar Casey.  Known as the sleeping prophet.  I found his story and his “prophecies” truly fascinating.  I began to go down this path of “discovery” into dreams, and other such things, and started playing this game with people where I gave them a deck of cards and had them pick a card and think about it, and could guess the card with amazing accuracy.   I was so good at it, that my husband became disturbed by my ability and told me he didn’t feel right about doing it, and that he felt there were spiritual consequences for playing around like that, and he would not participate in it with me any longer.  This from a man who didn’t even go to church or know much about God at all!!  But he was good.  His spirit was good.  He knew instinctively what I refused to see, even if he wasn’t close to God.

I think that God created man with an innate desire to seek and follow and worship him.   One that we cannot even really explain.  But we instinctively know that there is something more.  There is something “out there” beyond ourselves.  But over the course of a few thousand years, we have gotten lost.  We have lost our way to him.   So, this desire to know and follow him has come out in some rather unorthodox ways, and some are even admittedly downright demonic by those who practice this form of worship.

And over the years, the beliefs have not only branched off into hundreds of different versions, the ways in which people practice, or their forms of worship, if you will, have evolved as well.

In my thirties, I lived in a city of over 100,000 in Colorado, and discovered the Psychic Fair.   This was a place for all walks of life in numerous New Age religious forms would gather and “sell” their wares.   There are “psychics” there who will read you palm, read your aura, read tarot cards for you, read your keys, paint your aura, and the list goes on.  You can take classes on dreams, meditation, even UFO phenomena.   You can buy books that will tell you about the power of crystals and what each type will do for you, along with various herbs and other “natural remedies.”    Magnet therapy, crystal pendulums and how to use them.  You can buy your own pendulums and tarot cards, or any other type of tool used for divination you are interested in.  Take them home and start learning the art of divination yourself-and I did.  I had a pendulum, I had three or four different types of tarot cards, and I went to see a psychic regularly.  He was amazingly accurate, by the way.  Not all of them are “quacks.”

The interesting thing about all of this, is that these people know that there is a spiritual world and recognize it.  They know that things like crystals or rocks actually hold power, and they will tell you all about it.  They are very willing to share their knowledge with you.   But, they are often equated along the lines of those on the other end of the spectrum who also know there is a spiritual realm and believe that divination is a sin, as stated in the Bible, and worship the one true God.    Both groups of people are thought of as a bit “off” by those who consider themselves….more logical.  More…scientifically minded.  More “rational,” more “intelligent” and so forth.  There is definitely an elitism involved with such individuals, and this is evidenced in extreme fashion if you have ever read Frederick Niche, who wrote “God is dead;” or more recently, an evolutionist by the name of Richard Dawkins.  This man spews forth venomous hatred towards any man or woman who would be “stupid” enough to believe in God or creation, and writes with antagonistic views and assumptions towards believers that it isn’t even funny.   I tried to read his book The Greatest Show on Earth.   He was so hateful and full of himself, I refused to even finish it and hear what he had to say.   But hey, he was educated at Oxford, so he must be right.  Right?  I would love to see him go up against Stephen Meyer in a debate.  That’s all I have to say about that.

I find it fascinating how in today’s world, a topic such as this is “assumed” to be correct, when the so called scientists have no proof of anything.   They have their white coats, and PhD after their names and that’s about it.  Yet, there are those who have found real evidence to support the historical stories of the Bible, and the scientists bury it, so no one will question them with their antichrist agendas.   And if this topic interests you, I would encourage you to do a simple search on YouTube, where you will see documentaries of where a man has actually found where Moses and the Israelites crossed the Red Sea, and other such things.  It’s there, but it’s all but buried.  And Google, in their “infinite wisdom” wants to bury it to the point of nonexistence if they have their way.   There’s a video out there where they talk about how when you do a search, you get more than one answer; and how that’s a “bug.”  That they should be able to give us one answer that is the “right” answer.   This is yet another step towards George Orwell’s 1984 if you ask me.  The “right” answer to many questions is still unknown.  But if they bury the opposing views, new generations will come to accept the truth they are given.  Whether it’s actually correct or not.   Even as I Googled creation vs Evolution to bring to mind Stephen Myers’ name, all I found was “how to beat a Christian apologist in a debate” and “creationist demolished in debate by evolutionist” and of course, debates between Dawkins and others in which Dawkins is determined to be the “winner.”  It is all negatively geared towards creationists.  Why is that?  It sends a very clear message without even saying a word.  It is assumed that they are right, and anyone who disagrees with them is just an idiot.  Unbelievable.

For example.  If you entertain the idea of a flat earth, as described in the Bible, you are crazy.  And if you say you think NASA may be lying to all of us, you are met with outright attacks upon your character, and your intellect.  Everyone knows the Earth is round like a ball, and all these other things we are taught in school.  Yet, all the pictures NASA gives us are artist renderings.  There are no actual photographs.  Why is that?  They make some interesting arguments and pose some intriguing questions to support their belief that the Earth is flat, just like the Bible says.  But how dare we ask those questions?   Google does not even want those ideas entertained.  We should not question any opposing theory to what “they” tell us is a fact or truth.  Especially when it comes to evolution.   If nothing else, it should be something left as undecided or undetermined, as no side actually as any hard, tangible proof or facts.  It’s all deductions and guess work.  It’s a RELIGION!  It takes just as much faith to believe in evolution as it does to believe in God, and THAT’S A FACT!

But that’s how this world works now.   And it’s things like this that come into play a great deal when it comes to media of today.   We have all heard the term “fake media” or “fake news” a lot since Donald Trump has run and been elected President of the United States.   He isn’t lying!  How a person is supposed to determine the truth anymore is flat out tedious at times today; and it just gets harder.  And when you know that all the news outlets and companies are owned by a few not so good people…I know I certainly have trouble believing anything I see or hear anymore!

And think about it.  Television.  TELL A VISION.   Who’s vision are they telling?   And if you look at your TV as a form of a scrying mirror, this question becomes even more important.   It’s easy for us to look at it and see it as nothing more than a source of entertainment and/or information.  Same with our phones and our computers.  But now our phones are tracking us everywhere we go, and Saudi Arabia has their huge facility gathering information on all of us, all in the name of fighting “terrorists.”  You know who the “terrorist” will end up being?  Anyone who doesn’t go along with what they tell us to!  Those who believe in God and creation and what the Bible says.  THEY will be seen as the new terrorist.  If they speak out against this or that, it will be deemed hate speech, and that will be the end of it.  Because it is becoming increasingly evident, that hate towards God in the form of hating those who love God is running rampant in the world today.   Add to that the assumption that things like evolution are true, that God is dead and doesn’t exist, and any ideas to the contrary being buried and wiped out.  Where do we end up?   That’s a huge question we need to be asking ourselves.

Because the vision we see on those screens are not the vision of the Father for us.  They are not the vision of anyone who believes in God.  To the contrary.  They emit the vision of others.  Others who want to brain wash us, and plant seeds of doubt about God.   And if you don’t think this really happens, you are sadly mistaken, and you need to do your homework.  There are studies out there that show how the mind goes into alpha waves after just a few moments of being “plugged” in to a video or show.   I have read where someone found the paperwork filed with the patent office for the first television, and in it, it basically tells you that it’s meant for brain washing.   I have further research to do into this, if any can be found, but it appears authentic to me presently.

And just how does all this technology work?   Think about it.  Remember the LCD screens?   Know what LCD even stands for?   Liquid Crystal Display.   Liquid Crystal.  let that sink in a minute.   Crystals.  Rocks.   Have you ever owned a Quartz watch?   Quartz.  Another type of rock.  Used for time keeping.   Time, that is not God’s time, by the way.

But we have rocks that are conductors of energy here.   Remember the folks from the psychic fairs who are telling us that crystals and rocks have power/energy in them???   Yet, those who are more “logical” and “rational” aren’t even making the connection.  They aren’t seeing how the wizards and sorcerers of old have come right into their living rooms and back pockets.   And is it really a leap to ask to the question then, about how much of what they are sending-which we can’t see until it’s “transformed” by these machines into “readable” or “visual” information-is spiritual?  I mean, how many of us can actually understand how this works?   We are told “it’s science” so we shrug and assume it’s ok; and sit dazed in front of it for hours at a time and watch it.

We don’t really watch TV much around here.  I don’t even keep one in my room.  I keep it in the back room, and quite honestly, it hasn’t even been plugged in for over a year.  But we do have one in the house.  And my brother and his family are the same way.  TV is extremely limited at their house too.   And it amazes me how even on a rare occasion that I watch a Bronco’s game and let my nephews watch with me, (with my brother’s permission, of course) and the littler ones will set there almost transfixed by the screen.  You can see it in their eyes and on their faces; what watching TV does to a person.  But we have become so used to it, we don’t even really notice it until we step away from it.

When I was young and started college (the first time) I took a computer class.  It was 1987 or so, and computers were becoming more and more prevalent, so I thought it might be a good idea to take this class.   And I am not kidding when I say that it is complicated!  I would read a page two or three times to try and grasp it all and then feel ready to move on  to the next page; then read it two or three times, and so on.   I suppose there are people out there who just get it.  I was not one of them, and still struggle to use some of the programs out there today.  But basically, it’s nothing more than ones and zeros.  And these are on and off switches that are arranged or “coded” in a way that means something to the computer based on how they are arranged.   Each combination of on and off switches are commands, or true and false statements.  They are “gates” if you will.   And as the energy or electricity, etc flows, a gate will open or close based on the coding, and allow or disallow the current to continue through each gate.   We can’t see the current or feel it necessarily, but we can “control” it with these gates.

Well, when you think about it; that’s kind of how the spiritual world works too.  There is an energy that is negatively or positively charged (good and evil) and there are controls in place.  (Gates).  But those who would practice witchcraft and divination sought to control the spirit in a different way.  To manipulate spirit to do what they wanted.  To tell them the future, or things that are not known, etc.  So they would use things like crystals and such as I mentioned earlier, and try to open certain gates while keeping others closed and manipulate the spirits.  Another form of gate you hear New Agers talk about would be the third eye, or chakras.  In this particular example, they want the gates open.  They want the benefit of spirit by opening these gates, only they don’t really call it spirit.  They call it energy or something else.   And that is where the danger lies, and the problem with these kinds of things.  It is spirit and the Bible tells us this; as well as warning us not to mess around with this stuff.

The other interesting thing about our minds, especially our subconscious, is that it operates in symbols.  This is most evident when we sleep and dream.  Science in all it’s wisdom still can’t explain what is happening to us when we dream.   We think we know that dreams come from our subconscious mind, and that our subconscious mind only speaks and understands things in the form of symbols.  So, while we may wake up from what we think was a bizarre dream and wonder what the heck, our subconscious knows exactly what just happened there.  Our conscious minds struggle to understand though.  And much of what goes on in our subconscious minds is not noticed by our conscious minds either.

Case in point.  Back in the day of my parents, before even I was born, they used to splice images into movies at the drive-in of things like popcorn or soda.  As it was just one frame, so it went by so fast, your conscious mind did not even see it or notice it.  But your subconscious mind did; and all of the sudden, you wanted to go to the concession stand!  This was a practice that was actually done and known about and made illegal.   But how do we know that it’s not still happening?   How do we know that while that was made illegal, other subliminal messages were not and are not?  Short answer.  We don’t.

But here we sit, in our living rooms, allowing the gates of our mind to be opened and ourselves to be all but hypnotized; welcoming the energy, message, or spirit of who knows what, and summoned from who knows where, to enter our minds.   The receptors are open and welcoming to whatever comes out of that black reflective glass.  Just like a scrying mirror.  Telling us visions of unknown worlds and persons, and we are oblivious to it.  Or are we?   Hopefully now, we aren’t so much.

Hopefully now, we are becoming awake.  We are asking more questions, even though we are being trained not to.  We are looking into things like all the symbolism that is found in movies and TV, and how it speaks to our subconscious minds.  We are looking into spiritual matters and putting on the full armor of God.  Because we need it, and it’s only going to get worse.   Because what is one of the greatest conductors of energy on earth?  The human mind!  Well, until AI takes over, but that’s another topic for another time.

And while science can do good things, I think we need to be careful and watchful; because there is sometimes an invisible and bigger agenda.  We must remember that even those who practice witchcraft will tell us they are doing good and only practicing “white” magic; but it’s all manipulation of spirits and others.   We need to remember that scientists have also done much harm, and have given people diseases and watched them die-all in the name of “science.”   One of the worst group of scientists were Nazi’s and did horrible things to the Jews and literally looked at the Jews as nothing more than lab rats, and treated them as such.   Many of those “scientists” were given asylum and integrated by our own government, because they wanted their knowledge.  Hitler, was looking for a gate himself, and was experimenting with many things that were dark magic.  They don’t really tell us so much about that part, but it’s no secret the man believed if he got this spear he would be given this power, and so he got it and he did all kinds of evil and spiritually dark things.  The “scientists” that worked with him were all in on this too.

And I have come to think that the saying that magic is just what science can’t explain yet, may be a big fat lie.  What may be a more true statement today, is that magic actually masquerades as science.

Looking back at what I once thought was harmless and fun, was perhaps not really so innocent.  And what I saw was just attempts to steal my joy, or an attempt to fence me in, was actually meant to protect me and keep me safe.   There’s a big difference.  Being able to see the difference is another matter entirely.





Do Your Homework!

I get it.  We are busy, and life can be…tedious…to say the least.  We often have little time or inclination to do much reading up on a subject, let alone research.  And because life can be such a drag sometimes, we just want to have fun whenever we can.  So, when someone comes along who seems to want to take the fun out of a situation or is being a real killjoy, we don’t like that very much.  It’s human nature.  I really do get it.
But, here’s the thing.  when someone puts information out there that you don’t like and you have done little to no research into the matter yourself; you aren’t going to change THEIR minds on any subject.  They’ve already done their work, and clearly understand you have not.  Maybe it makes you feel better to make comments and justify your behavior or what you are doing.  We all tend to do that too.  That doesn’t make the truth any less true, and it doesn’t justify anything except the fact that you clearly have not bothered to make an informed comment.
I have been getting several comments and messages about my last blog on Halloween.  Yes, a lot of it is just my own personal experience, and my humble opinions.  I clearly state that.  That does not mean the information I have put forth was merely pulled out of my ass.  Why would I challenge anybody to do their own research on the matter if I had not bothered to do my own?  Trust me, I have no desire to look like a total idiot, though I do see that there are many people out there who have no problem with it.  I, however, am not one of those people; unless I am just playing around.  Which on this topic, I was not.  Do I come across as a know-it-all?  That is certainly not my intention.  Though I seem to run across plenty of those myself.  I do not feel as though I am above reproach, and I have been wrong before…a LOT.  I have also done the best I can to learn from those times.   I will undoubtedly be wrong again, and again.  I have no problem with that.
But here’s the deal.  Do your freaking homework.  It’s not that hard, and it does benefit you to have done it; especially if it’s something you are interested in, or have an opinion about it.  These days everyone has an opinion about something.  You know what they say.  Opinions are like buttholes, and everybody has one….and they all stink.  But if you feel like you need to voice your opinion on something, maybe it’s worth taking a little time to form one that has some substance behind it.  At the end of the day, we may still not agree, but hopefully we can at least respect the information behind the opinions and look further into a matter if so led.
I think it’s also human nature to just kind of pick a few people we “trust” to be well informed in certain areas, such as politics, or religion, or sports; then let them tell us what’s true.  Then we still want to turn around and be able to tell others that truth is something subjective to an individual.  Sorry.  Truth is truth.  You can buy into that ration of cow dung all you want to, and when everything is said and done, the truth is still the truth.  That being said, there is only one author of truth and one judge.  Our creator.  And he gave us some pretty clear instructions and examples of what truth is, how to live, and how we can be blessed.  There is so much information in that book that people can study it their whole lives and never cover all the topics and layers of information that lie within.  In some ways, we actually need people like that around us to share what they have learned with us; because one person simply cannot cover it all alone.  As iron sharpens iron, we are to share our knowledge with each other out of love and also test each other-wherein comes the sharpening.  This is biblical too.
So, when I tell you that I have opinions based on research and personal experience, I do.  Does it not stand to reason that a person who has been through something like that is not going to look for answers?  Obviously, I had some serious spiritual searching I was continually compelled to do.  Trust me.  I have looked in a LOT of places too.
I have gone to psychics, I have gone to tarot readers and even had some cards myself.  I have dabbled in magic and candles and incantations; I have had a pendulum and dabbled with that.  I have had friends who were wiccan and into new ageism, yoga, and the whole bit.  There’s a whole gamut of things I have looked into and dabbled with.  At one time, I could hand a person a deck of cards and have them pick one up and focus on it, and guess the card with about 70-75% accuracy, and only getting better.  This was before I began to think that maybe I was playing with fire and quit doing it.  But it was very easy to start with one thing, then another and then another.  Do you see how easy it is for people to get sucked in?  Because I do!  Thank the good God above he spoke to me and let me know that he did not promise it would be easy, but it would be the truth.  And walking in truth is not always easy.  Even I have had to swallow things that were not easy for me to do.  Heck, I miss celebrating my birthday!  I miss celebrating Christmas!  (I don’t miss the hassle at all though.)  Learning to observe the Sabbath was NOT an easy thing for me to do, at all!  But here’s the thing.  I had a heart that wanted to know the truth and serve God.  An ability to take a topic and see where it led me, instead of looking for proof to prove my own beliefs.  Who am I to question God?  Who am I to tell him what truth is?  Who am I not to trust him, and lean unto my own understanding?  See what I mean?  And guess what?  I may still have it all wrong, right along with a bunch of other people.  But my heart and my mind belong to him, and I remain open and am always looking, and listening for his voice.  That is the difference.  If he tells me I am wrong and shows me, then I am the first one to admit it.  I was wrong to practice magic and pagan things.  He showed me that.  I had to admit that I was wrong and turn away from those things.  This also meant losing some friends.  And as he has led me along, I have continued to lose more.  This is by no means pleasant when you are already a lonely person!  Trust me!  I have no real desire to upset people or make them angry and alienate them from me.  It would be far easier for me to go along to get along, and that’s a fact.  My desire is only to share what I have learned and what I feel are real dangers out there, because I have been exposed to it, and I see it for what it is.   Nothing more, nothing less.  I have always been a person with strong feelings about truth and have always been searching for it.

Isn’t it interesting that humans are such spiritual beings?  Look at all the stuff out there.  Doesn’t it stand to reason that this desire to search for God came from him because we fell and we feel lost without him now?  It does to me, anyhow.
Anyway, my point is that I have done a LOT of reading.  Books on the subjects I just mentioned, going to “meetings” of various sorts with different groups of people, and trying to soak up as much as I could.  Conversely, I have also read the Bible, and books that compliment the Bible, listened to teachings, and basically spent a lot of time looking into spiritual things.
So, when I tell you the history of Halloween, I’m not just making it up because it sounds good or I heard it somewhere.  I have done some looking into the subject!  Have you even bothered to look into any of the things I mentioned?  What do you know about familial curses and how they are passed down from generation to generation?  What do you know about curses at all?  What do you know about familiar spirits?  (Familial curses and familiar spirits are not the same thing.)   Do you think that the stories about Jesus and the disciples casting out demons are just myths?  Because if you claim to believe in God and the Bible, you need to realize the truth that is found there and that it’s immense.
Even on line, there is plenty of information.  I know Wikepedia isn’t everyone’s favorite source for info; but I tell you what, they have a VERY lengthy write up on this topic and it’s full of information, if you bother to take the few minutes to read it, you would learn a lot.  Hey, I will even make it easy for you.  Here’s the link.

Here’s another interesting one:

I found this little gem written by a “Nature Spirituality Church” as well.  After reading it, I thought.  These people (among others) take this holiday very seriously.  Maybe we should too!   They don’t call themselves wiccan on the home page, but when push comes to shove, it’s basically the same thing.  The author goes into much the same history I described in my post yesterday, by the way.  Just glancing at it towards the end where the bullet points are, give you an idea of the witchcraft these people are into. TO.DAY.  (Even though they try to make it look as innocent as possible, remember, it’s still paganism and God tells us not to do it.)   Their congregational link, (yes, it’s an organization!) is here:  http://

Just think how seriously those who are into black magic and the arts are taking this holiday.  Think about how seriously the Satanists are.  Why are we shrugging it off like it’s nothing?  I just don’t get it.  Well, yeah, I do.  We want to have fun and be like everyone else.

Anyway, I have provided links that not only explain how pagan this holiday is and the practices that go on; they also say that the church has taken this holiday and “mixed” it, as one article said, but I told you all that yesterday.  I actually find it interesting they used the word “mixed,” as that was what I was talking about yesterday anyway.  We are not to mix the holy with the profane.

You can do your own research into the Catholic Church and how the pope or “vicar or Christ” (their words, not mine) began changing the Ten Commandments, integrating paganism into the church, and all kinds of other things.   The documentation is there, and it’s really not that hard to find.  I am not making a stretch here.  It’s pretty straight forward.

Remaining what I call “willfully ignorant” on this topic, I personally believe, is a bad idea.  They are the mother of all churches, and there have been many that have broken off over the ages, but kept and held true to a lot of lies and false teachings.  It is important that we know and understand this.  Many good hearted people are being led astray by false doctrine passed down over the ages.  Being told a passage of scripture means something it simply does not say, places in the Bible that have been translated poorly if not incorrectly, and left out entirely…we need to be aware of this.  We need to be informed.

But that is not the subject I am writing on right now.  Just please, please, do your homework.  Don’t take my word for it if you don’t want to.  At least check into it yourselves though.  Don’t assume I’m just making things up or pulling them out of my ass.  I am not.  And more than anything, remember that this comes from a place of warning and hope that others will be saved.  Remember that God loves you and is calling you.  That thing you search for, is him.  He put that desire in you.  He’s calling you home.
Thank you for your time and letting me rant!  Be safe out there and wear the armor of God.

If you are interested in knowing more, this guy has done a lot of research and breaks it all down much further than I have the time or inclination to do.  It’s pretty exhaustive, and I may not agree with everything he says, but again, feel that while we may not agree on everything, he is spreading truth about the subject and possibly encouraging others to look deeper into the matter. His article is found here.  Very informative if you are willing to take the time:

My Real Life “Ghost” Story: Why I don’t “do” Halloween.

When I was in about the fourth grade, my father, who was a minister, decided that he needed to watch the movie, The Exorcist.  He felt that, if someone in the congregation came to him with questions because they had seen this movie, he should know what they are talking about, and be able to give them better informed answers.  He found a video player somewhere, as they were a relatively new thing, and we didn’t have one ourselves, and got a copy of the movie.
My brother and I were sitting in the living room watching with my parents, initially; until it became clear to them that it was probably not something we should watch.  We were sent to our rooms with strict instructions not to come out.  Of course, I was now curious about what was going to happen in the movie!  I had to get a drink of water, then go to the bathroom, and if you’ve been around kids much, you know how it goes!  Somehow, I managed to see what I learned later in life, were the most terrifying parts of the movie.  Coincidence?  Timing?
That night, and for many nights after, I lived in complete terror.  You see, I knew that God was real.  That meant the devil was too.  My dad said so!  My parents tried to reassure me that the devil, or demons, could not possess a person without their permission; but I was not so sure.  I would lie in bed wide awake for hours before being able to fall asleep, and though my bed never shook and bounded up and down like the bed in the movie did, I could swear there were times I felt it move.  I would cry and became afraid of the dark and literally try to stay awake for fear the demons would get me if I fell asleep.  Within about a week, even during the day now, I would sense that these demons were around me.  I couldn’t really see them, but I knew where they were, because there would be a spot where I was looking that was a little more “fuzzy” and darker than everything else.  It would move, but not like moving from place to place.  It moved very subtly, in one place.  Especially around the edges.  It did not make a complete circle or shape with a solid line, though it was mostly circular.  It was kind of like it shimmered or glistened, but it didn’t.  Just the same effect.  It’s the only way I know how to describe it.  I did not hear voices or anything like that.  I never saw things fly, or see anything “blatant” that would give me proof I was not losing my mind.  Then, I was not only terrified that they were around and trying to “get me” but also extremely afraid that I must be crazy.  If I told anyone, they would definitely think I was.  Of that, I was certain.  So, I suffered in silence.  A few weeks later, I was at school and in class, and I looked up at the ceiling and where the ceiling me the wall, I saw a fuzzy darker spot.   Now they were even following me to school!  I got up quietly and asked the teacher if I could go to the office because I wasn’t feeling well.  I ran down the empty hallways that seemed all too dark for being during the day and void of any protection, as everyone was inside a classroom; and I was alone.  By the time I got to the office, I was near tears.  I called my mom, and the dam broke.  I sobbed into the phone and begged her to please come get me because I was afraid.  Of course, she wanted to know what I was so afraid of, so I told her the demons were trying to get me.   My mom fetched me from school and took me home and didn’t say much.  Later that night, some men my dad had called, elders of the church, came over and they all began to pray for me.  The things they were doing and saying sounded all too much like an exorcism to me; which really freaked me the heck out.  I was so completely freaked out I began to scream and cry so loudly they probably thought I really was possessed!  In fact, I was just freaked out, because I had been told that a person could not be possessed unless we gave permission, and I knew I had never given my permission!  Yet, they were talking and acting like I had been.  How had this happened?!?!
Luckily, after that day, things seemed to subside quite a bit.  The prayers had seemed to work, for the most part.  There were still times I as afraid to go to sleep, and I often had horrendous night mares that spirits were chasing me; things like that.  This continued clear up into my twenties.   They consisted of me being “chased” by something unseen, but I knew it was evil.  I was always trying to hide behind bushes and walls and buildings only to be found out.  I would begin to run again, and find a new place to try and hide.  Eventually I would wake up, relieved, and sweating, with my heart racing.  One time, when I was young, I even took to flight.  As I rose in the night sky, and realized I was flying, I became even more afraid.  I knew I shouldn’t be flying!  Something had happened to me that was very wrong!  Was I doing it on my own, or had something picked me up?  Where was it taking me?  When I woke, I begged God not to let me have a dream like that again.  I never dreamt I was flying again, but the nightmares did not cease.  I continued to be chased by something evil and trying to hide for many years in my dreams.
When I was living on my own, just under twenty years old; I had a dream that I was sitting in a chair in a long hallway.  There were no doorways that I could see, and no end on either side was visible to me.  The carpet below me was dingy and worn, and I knew it was a hard concrete floor beneath it.  It was an indoor/outdoor diarrhea brown color.  The walls were once white, but were no longer; full of cracks and dirty.  The chair I sat upon was made of wood, with slats across the back, and old as well.  There was a single light bulb hanging from a length of wire above me and the only source of light.  Both ends of the hallway were dark and ominous.   I looked around me, wondering where I was and what I was doing there; not sure what had just happened to me.  Then, in a flash, a rush of wind came at me; knocking me backward, and out of the chair.  I lie on my back then, pinned to the floor by an invisible force.  I could not move, and my jaw was forced shut so tightly, it was as if I had clenched it shut myself, but I had not.  I thought my teeth would crumble like shards of china within my mouth.  I wanted to scream, but I could not.  I was able to move my head from side to side a bit; so I did that; keeping my eyes squeezed shut tightly.  Even though I knew if I opened them, I would see nothing.  It was like there was an invisible hand over my mouth that followed my head as it shook violently from side to side.  I could not cry, scream, open my mouth, or move, except to shake my head, “no.”
Then I heard a phone ring.
I woke suddenly and my heart was still racing.  I was disoriented.  The room was light.  It was morning.  The phone rang again.  My husband worked nights, and I realized it was probably him, calling to check on me and let me know he would be home soon.  I wondered how many times it had already rung and if I would answer before he hung up.  I threw back the covers and in once quick movement, tried to fling my legs over the side of the bed, stand up and take a step; but my legs crumbled beneath me and I fell to the floor.  My legs would not move!   The phone rang again.  My legs were not tingly like they were asleep; they were nothing but dead weight!  I began to try and pull myself towards the phone with my elbows.  I couldn’t believe how difficult it actually was.  I heaved and pulled myself across the floor one elbow at a time.  The phone stopped ringing.  I laid there on the carpet and tried to collect my thoughts a moment.  What had just happened?  What was wrong with me?  Was it related to the dream I had just had?  If so, how?  What was happening to me?  Was I actually crazy?   I grew a bit chilly and decided I wanted to go back to bed.  I tried to move my legs, thinking that surely it had passed.  Nothing.  I pounded on my thigh with my right hand.  All I felt was pressure and a thud.  I twisted my body as such that I could go back in the other direction and began to pull myself with my elbows across the floor back to the bed.  When I got to the bed, I reached up, having no idea how I would pull myself back up into it.
My husband and I lived in a tiny studio apartment of a small complex that consisted of only two buildings.  Behind the apartment complex, there was a convenience store that faced the other way.  Between us getting snacks when we wanted, was a six foot wooden fence, and right up against it on the other side, was an eight foot cinder block wall that was painted white.  It was easy enough for me to climb up the fence, step over onto the top of the wall, then jump down.  But going back home, my husband always had to give me a hand up to get up on the wall.  My husband was a Marine, and one evening, he decided he wasn’t going to help me up any more.  He told me that I could do it myself, and that we would stay there until I did.  At first I thought he was mean.  Then I was mad at him.  I would jump up and grab the top edge of the wall, my feet dangling, trying to catch hold of a crack or something; any trace of traction.  Nothing.  Eventually, my arms would get tired, and I would drop back down.  Over and over, I would jump up and try to get traction with my feet to try and climb that wall.  I wanted to cry, but there would be none of that.  He would jump up beside me and show me how it was done, over and over as well.  Finally, it clicked, and I got it.  It was such a liberating feeling and one of the prouder moments of my life, believe it or not.  After that, it was like my body just knew what to do, and I scaled the wall every time with ease.  I wondered how I had never been able to do it before!  That being said, I think this was the only reason I was able to pull myself back up into that bed!  Only that was much more difficult, even though it was not nearly as high.
I laid there and cried and finally fell back asleep.  A while later, my husband came home from work and I woke up.  I laid still a moment and recalled what had happened before.  I tried to move a toe.  It moved!  I then tried to bend my knee.  It moved too!  Oh thank God!  I thought!   I got up and greeted my husband and fixed him some breakfast.  He got in the shower and I laid back down again.  I was exhausted.  I laid there trying to make sense of what had happened.  Was it all just a bad dream?  I never woke up?  I only dreamt that the phone ring and my legs were completely numb?
I looked at the crumpled up blankets still on the floor.  I had pulled them off the bed trying to use them as a means to pull myself up.   It had happened.
I never spoke of it to my husband.  I never really spoke of it to anyone.  I didn’t want anyone thinking I was crazy.  Or worse, demon possessed, like my parents had thought.  I was having none of that!
I would be about twenty-five before the nightmares stopped.  Even then, I don’t know why that happened either.  One night, I woke from one and curled up closer to my husband and tried to go back to sleep.  Then they just stopped.  It was the last one I had…for a very long time.
Looking back, I think I finally reached a point in my life where I was finding my own peace.  Where I felt more safe.  But I know that wasn’t entirely it.
I have lived my life never watching a scary movie again.  I just won’t do it.  I have tried a few times, and even been tricked into watching a few.  If it’s demonic or spiritually evil in any way; I will have trouble going to sleep and will most likely have another nightmare.  I made that connection very quick.
When my own children were almost grown, a show came out called Ghost Hunters.  I have now spent many years nightmare free and they told me it wasn’t really that scary and talked me into watching it.  And though a bit weird and freaky, it wasn’t.  But, sure enough, one night, I dreamt that there was evil behind an attic door.  Only this time, I was a chicken like before.  I challenged it.  Bring it Mother F*cker.  I had said.   Then a rushing wind, and an earth shakingly loud growl came out of nowhere as everything around me shook.   Oh sh*t!  I started running, and was so scared out of my wits, I immediately woke up.  That had never happened before.  Luckily that dream was over just as quickly as it had begun, but I was still disturbed by it.   Then I knew.  By watching that show, and allowing myself to be subjected to the suggestions in it: even though it wasn’t really scary, I had allowed that torment, even if only in the form of nightmares.  I had given permission.
Soon after that, my youngest daughter, who was still a junior or senior in high school had expressed to me that she had been having night mares.  She would never tell me what the dreams were about, but I knew they really scared her.  I told her to stop watching those shows.  She minimized it and rationalized that the show and scary movies had nothing to do with it.  Within a few years, she was having horrible panic attacks; so bad, she was even taken to the hospital with blue lips and the whole bit.   But to this day, you cannot tell her that these things are having any kind of influence on her.  She truly believes they are completely unrelated.
I would like to suggest otherwise.  Our subconscious mind only speaks a language of symbols.  There are plenty of books out there that will tell you that, for example, if you dream of snakes, it’s your subconscious mind telling you there’s an issue sexually; blah blah blah.  I don’t think it has to be that complicated; nor is it.
I remember once having a dream where I was somehow stranded on the edge of a mountain.  It was cold, dark, raining, and the climb in front of me was basically straight up.  I watched mud and silt filled water gush down in front of me as I tried to cling to rocks with nothing by my finger tips and scraped up nails.  Lightening crashed around me and was the only source of light.  I had no idea where I was, or where I was going, except up.  No matter what.  I must go up.  So, set my jaw with my gritty teeth and kept moving forward and up as thunder crashed around me.  It was a very vivid dream and when I woke, I thought about it.   Trying to make sense of it.  I know they say people dream every night, but I almost never remember mine if it’s true.  Unless it’s vivid and something unusual happens that gets my attention, someone I know in real life is in it, or it’s a nightmare, I just don’t remember them.  Then I realized, that I was going through a very difficult time in my life and it very much was like climbing a metaphorical mountain with the world screaming and whirling around me as I struggled through it.  Figuring this dream out wasn’t that complicated at all.  Obviously, there are plenty of dreams I can make no sense of.   But honestly, even if I got a book out to look at all the meanings, I would still make no sense of them!  I’m not sure all dreams are meant to be made sense of; or maybe it’s a skill we once had, but over time, it has been lost.
What I can be sure of, is this.  The demonic world is real.  In fact, I think most of us have had some kind of experience in our lives that we just cannot explain, and we know that there is “something out there.”   Yet, for many of us to admit or accept this knowledge is more than we can handle.  It scares us.  It opens up too many more questions we do not have answers to; and we just aren’t going to look at that.  Many of us rationalize the unexplained away.  We may not be able to explain it, but we explain it by saying there has to be a rational explanation for it, and then just kind of set it aside and refuse to look at it anymore.  It’s just not possible, we tell ourselves.  It’s easy to look at a film, a picture, or a show and say, “It’s fake.”  But when it happens to you, and you are forced to look at it square in the face; well, that’s a different story.
We see evil all around us on a daily basis.  Yet, we won’t ask the question, “Where does all this evil come from?”  We rationalize that away too.  We say they must have been kids that were not parented properly growing up.  Psychosis is a very common one we use.  Those people who hear voices and commit atrocious crimes HAVE to be crazy, right?   But what if they’re not?  Well, that’s just ridiculous, right?  Obviously, their brains are broken, and they need help.  What if their brains aren’t broken, but are actually working better than ours?  What if they see and hear better than we do?  What if we only think that the way we live is normal, so therefore, they aren’t?  We already know that we don’t use all of our brains.  What if they were once capable of connecting to God himself, until the fall?  What if people we label as crazy, are actually just reacting to the crazy world around them?  What if they have more ability to make a spiritual contact, but what they contact is not God?
This is how I look at it.  One law of the universe is that there is always an opposite or antithesis to everything.   And, for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.   To darkness, we have light; which is actually the absence of light.  To heat, we have coldness, which is actually the absence of heat…you get the picture.    And I think many of us know that the opposite of good is evil, but don’t equate evil as the absence of good.  And isn’t it interesting that the words good and evil are so close the words God and Devil??  And we cannot have a God, but no devil-which is the antithesis of God, or the absence of God.
It always amazes me how people rationalize that there is no God because of all the evil in the world.  Not making the connection that you cannot have one without the other.  And where they may have formed an opinion that one may be more prevalent than the other, it still does not negate the fact that the other does, in fact, exist!  It just so happens that one is more prevalent that the other.  Nothing more.  The laws of the universe say so.  The sun goes down, and we have darkness; but that does not mean the sun no longer exists.  It does not mean that light no longer exists.  We can use an air conditioner to cool our homes in the summer; which is just a process of removing the heat from the air.  (Look it up, it’s true!)   So, when we walk into a nice cool building, does that mean that heat no longer exists?  No.  Just that we happen to be in an environment where it’s more cool.  Nothing more.  It’s the same with God.   Just because evil seems to be so prevalent throughout the world, does not mean that he does not exist.  Only that we have allowed evil to become prevalent and removed God from so many aspects of life throughout the world.  So how does it make sense to remove him even further from the world?  Backwards thinking if you ask me.
But back to what I was saying.  There is a God, and there is a devil.  There are angels, and there are demons.  And anyone who chooses to believe otherwise is obviously allowed to their own opinions, as am I.  And my opinion is, they are only fooling themselves.  Or they have bought the lie.  What lie am I talking about?  Let me explain.
There’s a story in the Old Testament, where a kind wants to defeat the Israelites, so he brings in this “magician” to curse them.  The magician tries, but can’t.  Then he realizes that the reason he can’t is that God will not allow it.  What God has blessed, cannot be cursed.  So this king and the magician find a way around it.  THEY could not curse the Israelites, but they were able to entice the Israelites into cursing THEMSELVES!
What does this mean?  Well, in the beginning, God created the heavens and the Earth, and he said it was good.  He created the sun and the moon, and he said it was good.  He created the land and the seas, and he said it was good.  He created man and woman, and he said it was good.    I interpret this to mean that everything he created was not only good, but blessed.  And therefore, because it was blessed, the devil could not curse it.  BUT, what did he do?  He convinced Adam and Eve (they were both there, by the way) to curse themselves.
From the very beginning God has blessed his creation, and it is true that the devil does not have permission to lay a hand on us.  So, what does he do?  He seduces us.  He plays with our mind.  He convinces us that this or that is not so bad, drawing us into cursing ourselves, little by little.  Gaining more and more ground in our lives, little by little; until we have left ourselves wide open for a serious attack.  To curses, even curses that pass down to our children up to TEN generations!  (Typically four.  It’s biblical-look it up.)
What better way to convince people that something is harmless than to make them believe there is no God at all, and by mere association the devil doesn’t exist either?!?!  And we sleep walk through life, seeing and hearing and experiencing evil all around us, yet never actually recognizing it for what it is, and what it means!  It’s almost like we have been hypnotized and do not see what is right in front of our faces!  For many, it is not until they experience a living hell that they understand this.  Others are never that lucky.
The Bible says the devil roams about as a lion, seeking whom he may devour.  Have you ever seen a lion hunt?  If the devil is like a hunting lion, he is by no means whatsoever harmless!    He comes to steal, kill, and destroy!
I have to say that I think many of us are far too careless about what we allow in our lives and in our children’s lives.  We know music plays a big role in affecting us, and it’s been “scientifically” proven.  We also know that videos, tv, and movies do too.  Yet, we continue to fill our minds with this crap, convincing ourselves that it’s harmless.  We forget that our subconscious works on a completely different level, but I promise you, the devil has not!  There are so many symbolic messages in movies coming out of Hollyweird these days, it isn’t even funny!  Ever look around you when you’re in a theater?  Look at how almost everyone is almost in a trance as they watch it.  Hypnotized.  Mindlessly shoving popcorn and candy and hotdogs into theirs mouths as they soak up God knows what from this giant screen in front of them.
When it comes to scary movies?  I think those are one of the most dangerous.  I think there is a connection with the emotion of fear itself and evil.  I don’t even really know how to explain it, but I think evil kind of feeds on fear, and if it doesn’t, it certainly loves it a great deal.  Remember, the Bible tells us that God has not given us a spirit of fear.  Think about the implications of that.
I have said all of that to say this.  As I have gotten older and paid more attention to how my mind, body, and spirit have reacted to different experiences in my life, I have believe I have become more in tune, and more aware of certain things.  Often I cannot explain them, and other times, can’t even understand them.  But I continue to listen to my gut and what the HOLY spirit is telling me, regardless of what my heart, my mind, or anyone around me says.  Regardless of if I understand it or not.  I am learning to listen and follow it no matter what, and pay attention.
Halloween is a celebration of the dead, according to the “Christianized” version of the early church.  Where people were supposed to take time out to recognize and remember the dead, especially the saints.  However, true to form, the Catholic church, which is basically the mother of all Christianity today in one fashion or another,  seems to have “Christianized” every pagan holiday known to man in order to convert them into their one world religion at the time, or killing them if they would not convert.
Let’s just put the fact that God tells us not to mix the holy with the profane aside a moment.  That he does not want us practicing pagan rituals.  If you have read your Bible, it’s pretty clear.  And some king appointed religious ruler of the day to basically play “god” with a little g of course, (though not in their own inflated minds) does not get to come along and say they changed it and are acting on the behalf of God.  (With a capital G.)   God never gave them permission to do that, and certainly didn’t appoint anyone to act on his behalf!  Vicar of Christ my backside!  Grr!
Anyway, this pagan thing, called Halloween today, is not holy or innocent at all.  It is believed to have it’s origins in Gaelic and Welsh traditions.  Back then, they called it Samhain or Calan Gaeaf, and this marked the end of the harvest season and/or the beginning of winter.  i.e. the “darker half” of the year.  Have you noticed the days getting shorter?
It was seen as a liminal time, when the boundary between this world and the “other world” thinned.  This meant that spirits could more easily come into our world and were more active.  They believed in many cases that they could be gods and must be appeased in order for their people and their livestock to survive the winter.  In order to appease these gods and/or spirits, in true pagan fashion, they gave offerings of food, etc left outside the doors of their homes.  Part of their “celebrations”‘ included things like divination rituals that included things like scrying, mirror gazing, fortune telling, sympathetic magic, etc.   You know, your basic withcraft-and it’s all bad, trust me.   There is no such thing as white magic and so it’s good.  There are plenty of testimonies of people who have gotten caught up in pure evil and satanic ritualistic practices because they were deceived into thinking that a little bit won ‘t hurt, or that what they were doing was actually good.
Then the Catholic church came along and made Nov 1st all saints day,  (coinciding with the pagan day and tradition I just spoke of) and just like the other pagan holidays they tried to integrate into their new Christian religion, like Easter and Christmas (look it up-I don’t want to be here all night!) they often had a candle light vigil the night before-thus, all hallows eve.  Or the eve before hallows saints day.  Of course, their “saints” are basically gods (little g) to them; which they make statues and little amulets of and pray to, light candles for, etc…uh, idols!  Hello!
I think you get the point.  When it comes to Halloween, even if you believe it’s been “Christianized,” it’s not a good idea.  This time of year is a high holy day for Luciferians, number one.  THEY certainly believe he’s real, and openly admit it!  Then you have the people out there who simply know not what they do.  They conjure up spirits and demons thinking it’s innocent or not real.  And think about the mere concept of creating fear on this day and how demons feed on, or at the very least are very attracted to and enjoy it.  In my humble opinion, it’s a bad idea to allow yourself to be exposed to that stuff, even in what you may think is an innocent participatory act.  I personally don’t want anything to do with it.
I am convinced that even the act of watching scary shows or movies allows our subconscious mind to be open to the suggestion of things we have no business messing with.  I believe whole heartedly that there is a very real, distinct, connection between what I saw as a child and what happened to me afterward; and then later in life.   It wasn’t just the fear.  I wasn’t afraid to watch Ghost Hunters, but watching it opened up my subconscious to suggestion to the evil spirits again, thus causing me to have a night mare again.  Only this time, I got on my knees and prayed and recognized it for what it was.  Can we connect on some level with the spirit world in our dreams?  If so, what happened wasn’t just a silly dream?  And if it is just a dream, it is still my subconscious mind letting me know I am being spiritually attacked.  See what I mean?
I quit watching that nonsense right away.  And since then, I have done more research about things like hypnosis and much, much more.  Including ghosts, and trust me, that’s not your great aunt Ethel.  It’s a familiar spirit, and you really shouldn’t be messing with that stuff.  Let me be clear.  There are no such thing as ghosts.  They are demonic spirits, and manifestations; and they aren’t playing.   I’m not kidding.  Sure, the devil will tell you ten things that are true if he can get you to believe one lie.  He was once the angel of light, and still has the capability of appearing as sweet and innocent as he wants in order to trick you.  Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase, “trick or treat” now, doesn’t it?
If you decide to continue celebrating Halloween, that’s your choice.  I have told you the truth, so you can no longer claim ignorance before God and say you didn’t know you were doing anything wrong.  God gave us all free will, but he did not give us freedom from the consequences of our choices.  He also tells us to prove all things.  One would be foolish not to research and study this subject and things like paganism, and how the Bible says all throughout it that God does not want us mixing the holy with the profane.  I have said my piece about the subject, and you can take what speaks to you and look into the rest.
I personally, have seen too much, and experienced too much to play around with such things.  I know that what I speak of is all too real, and I worry about people who just cannot see it.  Hopefully, this has blessed someone, and if there’s just one person, I am happy.

Reclaiming the Heart Conclusion

Giovanna flipped through the pages of her mother’s diary looking for answers.

“Mom never mentioned anyone named Kaden. At least not to me, anyway.” Amorette looked at her two sisters in hopes they may know something she didn’t.

They both looked at her and shook their heads. “She never mentioned him to me.” Delaney said.   “What about you, Giovanna? You’re eight years older than me. “Do you remember a guy named Kaden? Or living in Montana?”

“No.” Giovanna looked down at her mother’s squiggly handwriting. “No. It wouldn’t fit the timeline anyway. Plus, she says that we were at the wedding.”

“That doesn’t make sense.” Amorette said. “Why would she write this story in her diary, if none of it even happened?”

“I have no idea.” Giovanna said, her blonde hair now down over her face, covering her blue eyes.   She flipped through the diary looking for more, but there was nothing there.

“Do you think we should ask her?” Delaney asked her sisters. “I mean, she may not appreciate us reading through her diaries.”

“True.” Amorette said, as she pulled a cherry sucker from her mouth and gave it to her son, Dominic to finish.

“Maybe if we ask her the right way, she won’t mind.” Delaney said.

“Let’s just see how the surgery goes.” Giovanna said. “Right now, we need to finish packing up all this stuff. Story time is over.”

“Wait.” Amorette interjected. “What if….what if the surgery doesn’t go well.? I mean, I don’t want to sound morbid or negative, but mom’s not doing so hot. If we wait until after the surgery, and something goes wrong; we will never know who this guy was.”

Delany and Giovanna nodded, not wanting to think about that prospect. “Let’s just get this finished.” Delaney said. “We can worry about that later.

The three girls finished packing up their mother’s room. They had already finished all the other rooms, leaving her bedroom for last.   Their mother had a bad heart, and needed a valve replacement. She had been deteriorating for a while now, and they had all decided to move her in with Giovanna, since her house was the biggest and she had the room.

But their mother had been admitted into the hospital now, and was not doing well. They had found problems with internal bleeding and her blood work was way out of whack. She was scheduled for open heart surgery in just two days. It was the soonest they could do it, or they would have done it sooner. The girls were afraid for their mother, but were trying not to let it show.



That evening, Lacey laid in her hospital bed and looked out the window. The TV hung on the wall in front of her, but she had the sound turned down and wasn’t interested in it. There were monitors of all sorts around her blinking and blipping silently, and she looked down at the IV in her arm, thinking about how she never liked them and the idea of how the whole thing worked just seemed weird to her.

Then, she heard a light tapping on the door, as her three girls came it. She smiled at them, and was happy to see them.

“My beautiful girls!” She said. Then, “Did you bring me some French fries and a Big Mac?”

The girls chuckled. “No ma!” Giovanna said. “You know you’re not supposed to be eating that stuff.”

“I know, and usually I don’t. It just sounds so good right now.” Lacey looked sad. “This hospital food is just awful.   It’s bland, and just like cardboard.” She said, tossing a piece of chicken fried steak back on her plate. “No gravy! Can you believe that nonsense? What’s the point of chicken fried steak with no gravy?!” She crossed her arms over her chest and started to pout.

“Maybe tomorrow we’ll bring you something.” Delany offered, feeling sorry for her mom.

Lacey mustered a smile. “Promise?” She said.

“Yes, we promise.” The girls said and nodded in unison.

“Ok.” Lacey smiled bigger then.   “I’m sorry. I just want to go home.” She said looking down at her Jello, and deciding if she wanted to eat it. She ripped the tin foil off the top of it, and grabbed a spoon. “I just want all of this to be over, and to go home.”

The girls looked at each other, daring the other to say it. “Mom…you’re not going to go home after this.” Giovanna said hesitantly. “Remember? You’re going to come stay with me and Sam.”

Lacey sucked the Jello from the spoon and swallowed. “Oh honey, you don’t have to do that.” She said. “I’m fine.”

“I know mom, but we want you to be close to us. We want you there. It will be great. I promise.”

Lacey looked at each of her girls and studied them a moment. Then said, “You are all so lovely. How did I get so lucky? Giovanna, so tiny and sweet, with your big blue eyes that see the world around you so innocently.” She looked to her left now. “Amorette. Did I tell you that your name means little love? You have always been so full of love, showing it in the most unusual ways at times; but always so creative and artistic and full of life.” She looked to the left again. “And Delany. The child I dreamed of, with dark hair and big brown eyes, but never thought I would have. Then God surprised me with you, and what a wonderful gift you were. Always happy to see me and running up to me and giving me hugs. Always wearing holes in the knees of your pants. I never understood how you managed that.” They all chuckled. “You have each grown into beautiful, wonderful ladies. Smart, funny, full of goodness. Blessing me beyond measure in so many amazing ways. I couldn’t have asked for any other children. I am so glad God blessed me with you.”   The girls stepped closer to their mother now, grabbing her hands and arms.

“We love you too mom.” Delany said. The others nodding in agreement.

“I’m tired now. You guys have families to tend to. Go home and let me try to rest.” Lacey said. “Though this place is the furthest place anyone can get from resting.” She added. “Waltzing in here every hour of the day and night, prodding and poking you with something.”   The girls chuckled.   “It will all be over soon, ma.” Amorette said. “Come on guys. Mom needs her rest.”

As the three began to line out the door, Lacey spoke up once more. “Don’t forget! Tomorrow! Big Mac and fries! And an orange soda!”

The girls returned at lunch time the following day and brought their mother what she had asked for. They watched her eat, smiling at her delight in the contraband they had brought her.

While she ate, they sat with their mother and visited. They told her about their mornings, and talked about things in the news.

“Who’s Kaden, mom?” Amorette blurted out.

Delaney and Giovanna looked at her and retorted, “Amorette!” Giving her a look of warning.

“What?” Amorette said, defensively. “I want to know.”

“It’s fine. It’s fine.” Lacey said, interrupting their daughters before a full-blown argument broke out. “I take it you found my diary.”   She said, giving them a knowing look. “And read it.”

The three girls looked down, showing shame and embarrassment.

Lacey went on. “I take it you have a lot of questions.”

The three girls nodded.

“Well, Kaden wasn’t real.” She said. The girls looked at each other, surprised.

“But you made everything sound so real. Like all of that really happened.” Delaney broke in.

“Well, yes. There was a man. His name wasn’t Kaden though.   A lot of the things I wrote about did happen. We met when we were very young, I asked him to take me back, he said no. We reconnected later in life, he was in the Army, had been divorced from a woman named Kerry, and even seemed to have a thing for women with that name. Yes, a lot of it is true.   Even the parts I’m too embarrassed to speak about. They happened.   But the truth is, we never spoke again, and I never saw him again. Haven’t seen him since I was about 20 years old.”

The girls looked at their mother confused. “Then what happened?” Giovanna asked.

“Well, we did stay friends on Facebook for many years. He chose to marry that Jan woman, or whatever her name was.   I would see pictures of them taking trips to Germany, Hawaii, Greece, and all the things I wished I had been able to do with him. I think she had money. I’m not sure. But she bought him nice things, like designer chairs, and a brand-new fancy motorcycle for his birthday…things like that. Maybe she paid for the trips too. Who knows. Not that it really matters. She was beautiful and seemed very sweet. I couldn’t blame him for loving her. But it was also hard for me to watch. Parts of me just always felt so sad about how so many things were left unanswered. But the bottom line was, he chose her. I had to accept that.”

Lacey stopped and took a drink of her orange soda.

“Then what happened?” Giovanna asked.

“Well, you know all that, really.” Lacey shrugged and waved her hand. I married Luke the Loser; lived in virtual hell for a couple of years with him til I couldn’t take anymore and got rid of him. Then I sold all my stuff, quit my job and went to live in the mountains.”

Lacey paused again, reflecting. “You know, I think I only married that loser to try and prove something. To the man you know of as Kaden, to myself…that I was loveable, that someone out there did want to marry me.” She paused again. “But since he was such a magnificent asshole and a loser, I proved nothing but how fantastically I could fail at yet one more relationship. It doesn’t count when you try to compare horse shit to diamonds. It just doesn’t work that way.”   Lacey looked down at her meal, and picked up another French fry; taking a tiny bite.

The girls all looked at their mother sympathetically.

“No ma.” Delaney said. “It just means that you have been a woman who has always had hope. You have always kept the faith when others have lost it. You hoped Luke loved you and that he would be good to you. It’s not your fault that he wasn’t.”

“Well, thank you sweetie. Maybe that’s a little true. But I had no business being with that man, and I think deep down I knew; and I did it anyway.   It was a very bad decision on my part.”

“You’re allowed to make mistakes mom. We know who you really are, and we love you for who you are.” Delany said.

“Well, it’s done and over with, thank God. I was never so glad to see a relationship end in my life!” Lacey laughed, and then stopped herself, because it hurt her chest.

Amorette reached out to her. “Are you okay, mom?”

“Yes, honey. I’m fine. I promise.” Lacey said.

“So, you never went to Montana and reconnected with him, or any of that stuff you wrote about?” Amorette asked.

“No.” Lacey replied.

“Then why did you write in your diary that they did? I don’t get it.” Delany said.

“Yes, that.” Lacey said, as if being brought back from somewhere else. “Well, it’s quite simple really.   I was talking to a friend, and she was telling me that she thought I was a wonderful writer, and that I should write about it. Of course, I thought she was just trying to encourage me at the time. I didn’t think I was such a great writer at all. I just knew I loved doing it.   I even started a blog for a short time, and wrote about various things, including my life experiences. My friend thought this was great, and said that if I wrote the book, she’d help me get it published.

I didn’t do anything with what she said for months. She would call and ask if I had written anything, but she stopped asking when I always told her I had not. But then, one day, I found myself looking at the pictures of this man you know of as Kaden again on Facebook. I realized I was still having trouble getting over him. I wondered if I ever would; and I was struggling with not having closure. So, I decided it was time to write my story.”

Lacey took another drink of her soda and ate another French fry. The girls waited silently for her to finished.

“Then, it was like a voice inside my head that said, ‘Lacey, it’s your story. You can write it however you want. You can still have your happy ending. So, I made it up.”

Lacey smiled and looked at her girls. “It’s really just that simple. I made it up.”

The girls looked at their mother and smiled back at her.

“I took experiences I had had, and created Amber and Bill from a real friend I had and her husband-and they actually lived by a lake, and they were really great people. Just like I wrote them in the book. I just changed their names, and you know,”

“Made it up!” The girls exclaimed in unison. They all laughed.

“I had forgotten all about that.” Lacey said, shaking her head. I wrote it, and I put it on my blog and sent my friend a copy. Nothing ever really came of it, though. No one really read my blog, and…I just lost interest and forgot all about it.”

“What was his real name?” Delaney asked.

Lacey was silent for a moment. “Honey, there are some things a woman gets to keep to herself. Even from her children.” She looked at them and smiled.

The girls looked at their mother with sympathy.

“Oh, stop that now, you three!” Lacey scolded them.   “I had a full life. I lived, I loved, and I had three girls who grew up to be amazing people. I truly could not ask for more. I lived up there in those mountains, where I could focus on me and be closer to nature. I hung up hummingbird feeders right outside my windows, and watched them. I saw deer run through the property all the time. I saw birds and butterflies of every color; most, I had never seen before.   I found peace like I had never had before. And once I wrote that story….it really was healing for me in a lot of ways. I noticed I did feel better. Writing the story was my way of reclaiming my heart.”

Lacey picked up her mostly empty cup of soda and made a long slurping sound and shook the ice. “I learned to be content.” She said. “I read the Bible like I had always wanted to do and never done, and other books I had always wanted to read, too. I got books on CD from the library to listen to on my long commutes for work. I played with Jack, I did a lot of things I had always wanted to do, but never had. I lived my life on my own terms. Well, I have always lived my life on my own terms, but this was on another level. I will never regret that in a million years, my beautiful babies, and you never should either!” She smiled at them.

“Now go home to your families. I am tired of all this nonsense!” She shooed at them.   “But give me hugs and kisses first. I have this damn surgery in the morning. I need them for strength!”

Each of the girls hugged their mothers a little tighter that night and kissed her good-bye.   “We’ll see you in the morning.” They all said in unison again as they all left Lacey’s room.

That would be the last story their mother would ever tell them.



The funeral had been simple with not many people. Lacey’s childhood friend that lived near Lake Michigan, the girls had now discovered, was named Ann; and she had been there. She brought her husband Steve, and just as Lacey had described them in her book, they were a great support and comfort to the girls. They had asked her at one point later on if she knew who the mysterious man named Kaden might be, but Ann said she didn’t know.

Most of the family members were there, of course, though several couldn’t make it.   Some people from Lacey’s church had come, and a few others they didn’t know. The girls were devastated to have lost their mother that way, and Jack was visibly depressed without her. He was old, at about twenty years old now, and Giovanna was very worried about him.

Giovanna did everything she could to coax him to eat, and sometimes he would take a little from her hand. “I miss her too boy, I miss her too.” She said to him.

It had been a week since they had buried their mother, and the girls decided they would all get together and go see their mom without all the people around.   As they drove in Giovanna’s car together, they said very little.

Finally, Delaney spoke. “You know, mom really did die of a broken heart. I believe it. I think she did. I mean, her physical heart was broken, and needed a new valve, and I think emotionally, her heart was broken too. I think she literally died of a broken heart.” She looked out the window as they drove along.

It was a cloudy day, and a light rain had been coming down all morning. “You were always the wise one.” Amorette said towards the back where Delaney was sitting. “Mom just didn’t want us to worry or feel sorry for her.” She added. “You think that’s it?”

“I think that’s exactly it.” Giovanna said. “Always the mother. Always trying to protect her children.”

Delaney and Amorette nodded and they made the rest of the drive in silence.

When they reached the cemetery, the rain had let up and they walked across the grass towards their mother’s burial plot. The temperature was cool and they pulled their jackets around them as they walked. When they reached their mother’s headstone, they thought for a second maybe they had come to the wrong one. There were bunches of wild flowers strewn over her grave, and on the top of her head stone sat a single, purple rose. Delaney walked up to get a better look. There was something else. Seven tiny, light colored stones sat atop a little card. She gentle shook the stones off of the card and let them fall slide back upon the head stones. She looked down at the card and tears filled her eyes.

“What does it say?” Amorette asked.

Delaney couldn’t speak for a moment. Then, when she found her voice she spoke.

“It says, ‘Next life. I’ll be waiting.’”

The girls immediately looked around them to see who may have left the note for their mother. Off in the distance, they saw an older looking man in a uniform walking away from them. He had his down and his hands in his pockets as he walked. Despite his obvious age, he was still muscular, and walked with purposed. They watched him for a moment, and he disappeared into the trees.

“Did you see that?” Delaney asked her sisters. They both nodded. “Do you think that was him?” She asked them.

Amorette shrugged. “I’m not sure he was even real. Are you?” She looked at Giovanna. “I’m not sure either.” She said. But these things here, they are real. So, he must be real too; if that’s who left them.

“I wonder if that was him.” Delaney said.

“Who knows. But how did he know about the pebbles and the purple rose, and telling her that he would wait?”   Giovanna said. “How did he know?”

The three of them stood there staring at the flowers, and the rose and the tiny pebbles before them, and could find no answers.

Amorette looked at them and smiled. “Maybe next life, we’ll find out.”

“I hope mom can see all this.” Delaney said. “Wherever she is, I hope she knows that even though this man didn’t feel like he could do anything about it, he did love her.”

“The Bible says when we get to heaven, all will be made known.” Giovanna said. “I think now, she knows.”  Giovanna stood there quietly a moment.  Then she whispered, “She knows; and she’s finally home.”

Reclaiming the Heart Part V

A fictional love story with a little bit of truth in it.

“I think you should join us for dinner.” Lacey said to Kaden. “That way I can make sure you haven’t tainted those fish in some way.” She said, teasingly. Kaden made a face and said, “Who, Me? Never!” Teasing her back. “But seriously, I doubt Amber and Bill would mind. You ARE neighbors, after all. What better way to get to know your neighbors?”

“You really think they won’t mind?” Kaden asked.

“Of course not! They are very kind, outgoing people. I seriously doubt Amber has ever met a stranger. Besides, it’s not like you’re a complete stranger, Amber went to school with us too! They will love it, I’m sure! Plus, I’m sure they’ve been wondering what’s going on between us. I bet the curiosity has been killin’ em!”   Lacey giggled.

Kaden thought about this a moment, and then agreed.   He held out his hand and began to walk her back to Amber and Bill’s house.

When they got there, they began preparing dinner for Bill and Amber. Kaden insisted on cleaning up the fish and put them all on a sheet of tin foil; stuffed slabs of butter and lemon slices inside of them, and then dashed some spices on top. Amber watched him as he did so, pleased that he seemed to know his way around a kitchen. None of the men she had been involved with before seemed to want to be bothered with cooking, and it always fell upon her. This was a nice surprise, she thought. Once Kaden had the fish seasoned to his satisfaction, he folded the top of the tin foil over them like a bubble, and set it aside. Then he began preparing some asparagus and then took it all out back to grill it. Lacey grabbed a few potatoes, cut them up put them all in a frying pan with lots of butter and garlic. She busied herself with keeping them from burning and seasoning them while Kaden was outside grilling the fish and asparagus. When the potato chunks were nice and brown on the outside and tender on the outside, she threw in some parmesan and shredded cheddar cheese for good measure. Placed them in a bowl and covered them; then stuck them in the microwave to keep warm.

Lacey set the table, and had just finished when Amber and Bill came home. They were all smiles when they saw that Lacey had made dinner, but even more so when Kaden came in the house, carrying a platter of grilled asparagus and fresh caught fish.

The four of them sat down to eat and talked about days gone by, when they were young. Each of them telling funny stories to Bill about all the stupid things they had done when they were kids. When they finished, they all went out on the back deck and Bill and Kaden built a fire in the pit, while the ladies prepared smores.   Bill made everyone some mix drinks and they visited well into the night.

When Kaden decided it was time to take his leave, he pulled Lacy aside to tell her goodnight.

“I am really grateful, Lacey, that you have allowed me to spend this time with you.”   He said. “I sincerely am. This means a lot to me.”

“You’re welcome.” Lacey said. It was all she could say. She felt happy inside, and also a little sad that the night had to end.

Kaden kissed her sweetly on the lips. “Remember what I said. I will be waiting for you every day, down at the lake. If you want to see me, I’ll be there.”

Lacey nodded.

When she went back into the house, Amber and Bill teased her, but she knew they were happy for her too.

“So, what now?” Amber asked.

“I’m not sure.” Lacey said. “I mean, I’m only here for about another week, and then I’ll have to go back home.   He said he wants to see me as much as he can while I am here. But…I came to see you guys.” Lacey looked down at her empty glass in a far-off manner, trying to decide if she wanted one more before bed.

“About that.” Amber chimed in. “We were trying to figure out how to tell you this, because we were feeling a little bad about it; but they are starting the work on the new guest house on Monday. We obviously want to get it started and finished as soon as possible, but didn’t want you to feel like we were ignoring you either, or like you were in the way.   You are more than welcome to stay on for as long as you want here; and spend all the time you want with Kaden. Then we don’t have to feel so bad about being preoccupied with the building project.”

Lacey smiled at her childhood friend. “You really are the best, you know?”

Amber waved her off. “It’s nothing! That’s what friends do!”

Lacey went up to the spare room and found peaceful slumber.

When Lacey woke the next morning, she could tell that even though it wasn’t Monday yet, the project was already needing much attention. She heard Bill tell Amber how they needed to front load the project by getting things ordered and delivered as soon as possible and there was much preparing to do.

Amber made breakfast for them all, and they sat down and talked about the project. Amber was very excited about it, and Lacey liked seeing her friend so happy. They told Lacey they were sorry, but they needed to go into town to pick up some lumber, tools, and other supplies. Lacey smiled and told them it was perfectly fine.

Lacey went upstairs to shower and put on a green button up cotton shirt and a pair of jeans. She already knew where she was going as she grabbed her hiking shoes and tied them. She wondered if Kaden would really be there, like he said.

When she went down to the lake, she did not see him.   She then headed up the trail to “their rock.” Kaden was there. This time, he was the one asleep. She bent down and picked up some tiny pebbles and crept quietly towards the rock.   She crouched behind it so Kaden could not see her and started tossing them up in his direction. Not sure if any of them were making contact. Then she heard him stirring above her, and tried to stifle a giggle as Kaden whispered to himself, “What the?”

Then she looked up, and Kaden was standing there, towering over her. “Oh, that’s real funny, Lace! I guess I deserved that. You got me!”

“Yep. Turnabout is fair play!” She giggled again.

Kaden extended his hand to her and helped her upon the rock. He had a blanket spread out on top of it, and the two of them lounged there watching the clouds together. They would point out different formations they saw, and asked if the other could see it too.

They talked about their lives and how things had unfolded for each of them. Kaden told Lacey about Kerry, and Kerry number two, and three. How he had lived with Kerry number one for a few years, and then they parted ways. Then he married Kerry number two; but he had gone home for lunch one day to surprise her and take her out to lunch, and caught her cheating on him. Kerry number three he had been with a couple years, but it just didn’t seem to be jelling. He broke things off with her when he found out he was going to be deployed to Afghanistan.

“Not to bring up a sore subject, but I have to ask. Was your last involvement with a gal named Kerry too? You know, the gal you were seeing when we…did what we did?” She grinned in a teasing manner, but she really wanted to know.

“Actually no.” He chuckled. “Her name was Jan.   Which is probably why it didn’t work out!” He nudged Lacey.

“Well, when you think about it, I think it’s the opposite. It would seem to me that since it never worked out with any of the women named Kerry, you should probably stay away from women with that name!” She winked at Kaden.

“You may have a point.” He said, smiling back at her.

Kaden had brought another lunch for them of fried chicken, wine and potato salad and they visited all day long. That evening, he asked Lacey to come to his place for dinner.

She got out her cell phone, and was thankful she had service. She checked in with Amber to make sure they had not made big plans in expectation of her being there and Amber had told her they were delayed in town and it would work out great. She and Bill would grab supper in town.

He grabbed her hand and they walked around the lake into a heavily wooded area, until they came to a clearing. There sat Kaden’s log house.   Lacey smiled. It was small, but perfect for someone on their own. There was a garden off to the side, and a garage that was bigger than the house.   On the front porch hung a two-seated wooden swing.

“Oh! I love these!” Lacey ran up to it and quickly sat down. “Come swing with me, Kade!” She patted the seat next to her. Kaden smiled and walked over to her, then took the seat next to her.

“You like it, huh?” He grinned.

“Yes, I love it!” She said. “The house, the porch, the swing, the garden; everything is…perfect!” She beamed.

“Well thank you.” Kaden said. “I built it all myself.” He added.

“No way?” Lacey looked both astounded and very pleased.

“Yep.” Kaden smiled. “I even made this swing.”

“I knew you were amazing.” Lacey smiled and squeezed his hand. “I knew it.”

They went inside and Lacey was greeted by a big grey dog wagging her tail. “Her name is Ahnah.” Kaden told her. “She’s a mutt, but we’re pretty sure she’s mostly a shepherd breed.” He added.

“She’s gorgeous!” Lacey replied, as she knelt down and rubbed Ahnah’s neck.

“And you’re a good girl, too. Aren’t you Ahnah?” Lacey said to the dog, as the dog continued to wiggle and squirm at the excitement of making a new friend.

Once Lacey and Ahnah were done getting acquainted, Lacey stood up and looked around the home. She was even more amazed. Inside was a huge living room with wooden floors made of pine and sealed with a clear coat. Everything was light, bright, and airy. The ceiling was high, and as she looked up, she saw a loft with small wooden steps coming back down to the living room along the side wall.

“That’s the Master bedroom.” He said. He grabbed her hand and took her up the stairs. The room was large, but there were places she had to watch her head. She laughed as she nearly bumped it.   Off to the side was a small bathroom and a good-sized closet. The windows were big and let in a lot of light. The views are simply amazing, she thought.

Kaden took her hand once more and they went back down the stairs. The kitchen and the living room were separated by a breakfast bar and four wooden stools. She looked at Kaden.

“Yep. Made those too.” He said grinning, because he knew what she was thinking.

Lacey smiled back and looked around in amazement. They walked beyond the open kitchen area and off to the left was another bathroom, and then next to that, the entry way to another small bedroom. Kaden had a bed, a desk, and shelves of books lined the wall. In the corner sat a Gun safe, and boxes of ammo and a couple of pistols sat on top of it. Above it hung an antelope head. “The first thing I ever shot.” Kaden said, looking up at it.

“Anyway, this is the uh, spare room, slash office.” He said. “I don’t need a lot of space.” He shrugged.

They exited the room and continued on towards the back of the house, where there was a small laundry room and a mud room by the back door.

“It’s perfect.” Lacey said. “It’s you.”   She said beaming. She thought that she herself could not have picked a more perfect home to live in if it were her.

They walked out the back door, where Kaden had built a small deck. Off to her left was a barbeque grill, a table and some chairs. The land was groomed and looked like a meadow to her, and the place was surrounded by dense trees.

“This is practically heaven on earth!” She exclaimed. “So amazing!”

“I think so.” Kaden shoved his hands in his pockets and looked at Lacey. “I’m glad you like it. I’m glad…that you would…maybe…one day…be happy here too.”

Lacey blushed and moved over towards one of the chairs to sit.

“Why don’t you sit there and rest a minute while I get us something to drink?” He started towards the door. “Do you want wine? Something stronger? I don’t have a full bar, but I have a decent selection.” He stopped and waited for Lacey to answer.

“I would really love a glass of wine.” Lacey beamed up at him.

Lacey sat in the chair and looked around. Off in the distance, she saw a doe and her fawn leap through the tall grass and then back into the safety of the trees again.   She smiled in her heart.

A few moments later, Kaden returned and handed her a glass of wine.

“I just saw some deer!” Lacey exclaimed.

“See them all the time out here.” Kaden smiled. Taking pleasure in her obvious delight. “They drive Ahnah nuts!” He chuckled.

“I bet they do!” Lacey said. “Does she chase them?” She asked.

“Yep. Hasn’t caught one yet.” He shook his head. “Don’t think she would know what to do if she caught one anyway, the silly girl.” It was obvious to Lacey he loved that dog.

Almost as if on cue, Ahnah appeared with a big purple ball in her teeth. She brought it to Lacey as if asking her to throw it, and Lacey did. Ahnah was fast and nearly caught the ball before it even landed. Lacey clapped her hands with glee. “Good girl, Ahnah! Good girl!   Bring it back! Bring it here.” Ahnah was all too happy to oblige her. She came running and brought the ball back, dropping it at Lacey’s feet.

“You relax and I’ll make us something to eat.” He said.

“What are you going to make?” Lacey asked.

“I was thinking Mac and Cheese.” He chuckled and Lacey laughed too.

Lacey sat and enjoyed her surroundings as Kaden came out with some steaks and put them on the grill. They chatted about how long he had been there, and how long it took him to build everything, while Lacey simultaneously played fetch with Ahnah. Lacey was more enamored by him than ever.

“You sure you don’t want some help with anything?” She asked; feeling a bit guilty.

“I got it.” He said. “Just relax.” He smiled. “Besides, Ahnah needs her exercise. She’s been feeling a bit neglected lately.”

He went back into the house and a few moments later, returned with two spears full of vegetables; peppers, small onions, and tiny potatoes. He placed them on the grill with the steak.

“All four food groups!” He chuckled.

“It looks and smells amazing.” Lacey told him.

Kaden had built a beautiful fire pit on the edge of the deck made out of stone and masonry. After they had eaten, he lit a fire and they pulled their chairs closer to it, and it took the chill out of the night air. They continued to tell each other stories and about how their lives had played out over the years.

Lacey told Kaden how she had married right out of high school and her husband had taken to her California where he was stationed at Camp Pendleton as a Marine. How he had problems with alcohol and drugs and was dishonorably discharged for having a hot UA. She was pregnant when this happened, and it was horrible timing. She told Kaden how the child, a girl, was born prematurely and sent to a newborn ICU a state away; and how since they had no money, she had slept in hospital lounges and waiting rooms for four months so she could be with her baby. She explained how she and her husband had gone back to Lander, so he could look for work and was doing odd jobs here and there before the baby was born. Then, while she stayed at the hospital, he would be in Lander during the week, hopefully working, and would drive out to see her and the baby on the weekends.

“Then, one weekend he showed up with a huge hickey on his neck.” Lacey said looking down at her drink. “That was the last straw for me. I just couldn’t do it anymore. We had so many struggles and issues surrounding his addictions…and his temper. I just knew I didn’t want my daughter growing up around that. Especially when she was fighting so hard for her very life while he was off doing what he was….she deserved better.”

“You deserved better.” Kaden interjected. “You had enough on your plate without him adding to it like that. That’s just unacceptable. I didn’t really know him in high school, but I knew who he was, and I knew of him; and not to be mean, but I always thought he was a jerk.”

“Not mean at all.” Lacey said. “It’s true.”

Lacey sighed and looked up at the stars. “It’s so beautiful here. You are so lucky you get to live here, and live this way.”

“Yes, I guess I am.” Kaden shrugged. “Maybe one day you will live here too.”

“That’s a big step.” Lacey said, shaking her head.

“Take all the time you need, Lace.” Kaden squeezed her hand. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Well, I hate to say it; but I better get back.” Lacey said, yawning. “Do you have a flashlight I could borrow?”

“Don’t be silly!” Kaden started.

“I can’t stay here, Kade! It’s inappropriate!” Lacey interrupted.

Kaden laughed. “What I was going to say was that there was no way I was going to let you walk back there by yourself in the dark!”

“Oh.” Lacey blushed. “Ok.”

Kaden went into the house and came back a moment later with a flashlight. “If it makes you feel better, you can hold the flashlight, though.” He nudged her.

“Give me that!” Lacey laughed, and grabbed it out of his hand.

Kaden walked Lacey back to Amber and Bill’s house and kissed her goodnight.   “Remember what I said.” He told her again. “I will be waiting for you.”

Lacey walked up to the house and let herself in as quietly as she could. It was dark and motionless, except for a small lamp in the living room they had obviously left on for her. She walked over and turned the lamp off, and then walked softly up the stairs to her room. Once again, Lacey slept a peaceful sleep.

The next day, and for the next 8 days, Lacey spent her mornings with Amber and Bill, discussing how things were coming along with the project, and then parting ways. Amber and Bill were constantly running to town to pick up something they needed, or were heading over to the new building to work and supervise the hired help. Lacey would walk down to the lake and spend her days and evenings with Kaden.

The two of them spent as much time together as they could, stealing kisses, and being as close to each other as possible. Kaden told Lacey about how he had joined the Army and all the different places he had been, and what they were like. Lacey loved hearing his stories. She genuinely loved his company.

They told each other about old wounds and Lacey told him how it seemed like she could never seem to find a lasting love, and how she had moved around her whole life. Never feeling like she quite belonged anywhere. Never feeling like she was home.

Kaden opened up more about his marriage and how it had fallen apart and other struggles he had in his life too.

They were having to get to know each other again in many ways. Yet, Lacey could still see that boy she loved long ago with long dark hair and blue eyes-his left eye was still half blue and half green.

Every night, Kaden walked her home and kissed her; telling her to remember what he had said. And every day Lacey met him. He was always there, upon the rock, waiting for her.

The day Lacey had to return to Colorado, she was all but devastated. She felt like she was in a world not quite like her own any longer. She wondered if she had been in an alternate universe the whole time. The void inside her was like a black hole, eating away at her. She missed Kaden in her very bones.

They spoke on the phone every day, sometimes three or four times a day. He always had time for her, and if he was busy, he always called her right back. He never made her wait. Never made her wonder. Just as he said, he was always there; waiting for her.

Kaden would come to see her, and after a few visits, she gave him a key to her place. When his flights came in late, or traffic tied him up in Denver, he didn’t want her waiting up for him. She loved nothing more than feeling him lie on the bed beside her on top of the covers, and pulling her tightly to him, as she drifted back to sleep. She took him to all her favorite places in Colorado. To Beulah, where she loved to go for lunch by herself before taking a mountain drive; to her favorite coffee shop and her favorite bakery, and restaurants.

They shared their lives with each other, and let each other in on all their favorite things, their hopes, desires, fears, and secrets.

When they were in Montana, they would spend a lot of time on the lake in Kaden’s little boat. They would fish, or Lacey would read a book while Kaden fished. She didn’t really care what they were doing, as long as they were together.

Of course, they would always stop in to see Amber and Bill. The new guest house was finally complete, and Amber looked as happy as ever. Lacey loved that she did.

Lacey’s job as a social worker was very demanding, so the days were not as hard for her. The nights were always the worst. She’d come home and play with her German Shepherd, Jack; fix something to eat, and do whatever she could to keep busy until time to call Kaden. Her focus was now about not becoming consumed with missing Kaden all the time. Many, many nights she would lie in her bed with tears falling onto her pillow, because she missed him. Many times, as much as she hated it, she couldn’t control her tears as she spoke to him on the phone. Kaden would always console her and remind her that he was there for her; waiting for her; and he wasn’t going anywhere.

One Friday she came home from work after a long week, exhausted. She had nothing on her mind but getting something to eat, hearing Kaden’s voice, and going to sleep.

As she neared the house, she saw a moving van parked outside her house, and wondered if the neighbors were moving. But as she got closer, she saw strange men coming out of her house carrying boxes. She was immediately alarmed. She pulled into the driveway and then she saw Kaden in the doorway. He was smiling and looking proud of himself. He walked over to her car and greeted her with a kiss.

“What’s going on here?” Lacey asked. Still not sure what was happening.

“Don’t worry, babe.” Kaden said. “I have taken care of everything. Even this.”

Kaden knelt down in the driveway in front of the moving men and cleaning ladies he had hired, holding a small box with a ring.

“Lacey, I believe God gave me a second chance with you, and that it was indeed divine providence. There’s no doubt in my mind he blessed me with you, and that you are the greatest blessing I have ever received. I meant it when I said I would always be waiting for you, and I intend to do that for the rest of my life; and yours too. I will wait for you to come home when you leave, wait for you to get ready to go out, to decide what you want to eat, or where you want to go. I will wait for you to come to bed, to wake up, and every moment you are willing to grace me with your presence. I just need one thing from you. Be my wife.”

Lacey looked down at him in shock.   This wasn’t what she had imagined as the most romantic proposal ever, but now it was. Tears rolled down her face.

“But…how…how am I just supposed to up and leave?” She asked. “I have a job and a life here.”

“I’ve taken care of the hard part.” Kaden motioned to the movers and the cleaning ladies. “You can get another job there, or don’t even work, if you don’t want to. It’s up to you. All you have to do is say yes.”

Lacey stood there a moment and tried to make sense of it all. The movers walked by, trying not to show that they were listening, but they were. The cleaning ladies were peeking out the windows. Even Jack sat at Kaden’s feet looking up at her, as if telling her she needed to say yes.

“And I’m waiting right now….for you to say yes.” Kaden winked at her.

Lacey’s attention snapped back to Kaden. “Looks like I don’t really have a choice.” She smiled. “Yes!”

She knelt down too, in front of Kaden, and looked at him. “Kaden, when we met again, I didn’t trust you. I didn’t want anything to do with you. But you showed me that trust can be rebuilt. You showed me that there are people I can depend on. You showed me that I can love again. Yes, I will be your wife.”

Kaden kissed her and pulled her close to him, wincing a bit from being on his knees. Lacey laughed and he put the ring upon her finger. It was a ring made of white gold, and in it was set a dark blue sapphire. She smiled at how he had not been so cliché with a huge diamond, and thinking the bigger the better. She knew he knew her. “Thank you.” Lacey said. “It’s perfect.”

Kaden smiled back at her. “Almost as perfect as you.” He said.

Lacey blushed.

He grabbed her hand and pulled her over to the passenger seat of her car, and she looked at him confused.   “Where are we going?” She asked.

“I’m taking you home!” Kaden exclaimed.

“Now?” Lacey asked incredulously.

“Well, I was going to feed you first. But yes, now! Don’t worry. I took care of everything.”  He smiled and turned on the engine. Lacey looked in the back seat, and Jack was sitting on top of one of her suitcases. He had even packed her bags for her.

When they arrived back at the lake in Montana, it was evening. Kaden didn’t take her to his house though. Instead he took her to Amber and Bill’s guest house. Lacey was confused, but didn’t say anything.   Amber and Bill were outside waiting for them, and welcomed her with open arms and smiles. Amber took Lacey inside the guest house and pulled her towards the small bedroom.

“I have something to show you!” She said excitedly.

“What?” Lacey asked. Trying to imagine what it could be that would have her so excited.

“You’ll see.” She said.

When Lacey rounded the corner into the small room, she saw a beautiful white dress laying on the bed. It was made of satin and lace and elegant. It had bead work on the bodice, and the skirt was long and full of lace. It reminded her of an antique wedding dress, and she loved it. Beside it lay a small bouquet of wild flowers that Amber had obviously picked and made.

Lacey took in her breath, and looked at Amber. “Does this mean what I think it means?” She asked her.

“Sure does.” Amber beamed. “He took care of everything!” Amber said. “I am so glad you found someone so wonderful, Lacey! I am so happy for you!” The two women hugged and cried as Lacey continued to wrap her head around it all.

Amber pulled away. “Now get dressed!” She said. “You have an hour.”

Lacey looked at her and wrinkled her forehead. “Now?” She said, once again astonished.

“Yes, now!” Amber answered and headed back for the door. “I’ve got to get ready too. Now hurry! This is going to be so great!”

Lacey turned around and looked at the dress, the flowers for her hair, and the little white slippers. He really has thought of everything. She whispered. She took a quick shower to freshen up and put on her dress and slippers. Everything fit perfectly.   This had to be Amber’s doing. No doubt. She smiled as she looked in the mirror.

Amber came in the door wearing a dark purple satin dress.   She had her hair up and looked elegant. “I thought you might want some help with your hair.” She said.

“Yes, please.” Lacey said. She walked over to a chair and Amber picked up the flowers and pinned up Lacey’s hair for her. Placing the purple and yellow wildflowers perfectly in her hair.

“You look so beautiful.” Amber said. Tears welling up in her eyes.

“You do too!” Lacey said back, and trying to blink away the moisture in her eyes as well. “Enough of that!” Lacey said, shaking it off. “It will ruin my makeup, and I’m getting married to the man I love tonight!” She said beaming at the vision of herself in the mirror.

“We better get going.” Amber grabbed her hand.

“Going? Where are we going?” Lacey was yet again confused.

“You’ll see!” Amber said, in a bubbly voice.

Bill was outside waiting for them, and carrying a huge flashlight. Kaden was nowhere to be found. Bill offered Lacey one arm, and offered his other arm to Amber; handing her the flashlight. They began heading for the lake. It was not quite dark yet, but the sun was going down in a brilliant vision of purple, orange, and yellow, just like Lacey’s flowers.   When they reached the lake, they turned onto the path that led to the big rock. When they came around the bend, Lacey caught her breath.

The whole area had been cleared and was surrounded by torches that lit the path and all around the rock. There were lights hung in the trees and strings of flowers hung everywhere. Several people turned around and watched as Lacey and Bill and Amber came near. Lacey couldn’t believe it. Two of her best friends were there with their husbands, and a few acquaintances as well.   There were only a few people she didn’t know.

In front of her and to the right, there stood Lacey’s three girls, Giovanna, Amorette, and Delaney. In front of them sat Jack, who was wearing a little pillow strapped to his back. He was obviously the ring bearer. Lacey giggled. The girls were wearing dresses made of satin in shades of purple, pale yellow, and light orange.  Giovanna wore purple, Amorette wore Orange, and Delaney wore yellow. Together, they reminded Lacey of the sunset. They were each holding small bouquets of wildflowers and smiling back at their mother.

Next to Jack, sat Ahnah, who was wearing a string of flowers around her neck and on her tail. Lacey thought she looked so sweet, and was glad that she and Jack would now have a friend to play with.

Directly in front of her, Lacey’s eyes then went to Kaden. There he was standing in front of the huge rock, waiting for her, like he had done so many times before. He was wearing a black suit and had his hands in his pockets as he watched her intently with a smile. To his left, stood whom Lacey could only assume were Kaden’s son and daughter. Each were also wearing a dark suit, but his daughter’s suit was cut beautifully for a woman, and she worse a lavender shirt beneath the jacket.

As they walked up closer to Kaden, it was all Lacey could do to hold back the tears. She was so completely overwhelmed with so many emotions. He had planned this, and many of these people had put it all together for her. She knew that her girls had probably been there a day or two before, and had helped Amber and Bill with all of this. More than likely Kaden’s kids had helped too. Amorette winked at her as she walked by.

When they reached the rock, Bill handed Lacey over to Kaden, who was now offering her his arm. Then he took his place next to Kaden’s children as the best man, and Amber took her place with Lacey’s girls as Maid of Honor.

When it came time to say their vows, Kaden made Lacey cry.

“It took us over thirty years to get here.” He said. “But I would like to think that like wine, with age, we have only gotten better. You are more beautiful to me now than you ever were when we were young. …But don’t get me wrong!” He interjected. “You were a hottie!” Everyone chuckled. “I believe this is our time.   That what has gone before us has only made us stronger, and better able to love and appreciate each other now. I believe you are my gift from God, and I thank him for you every day.” Kaden paused. “I promise you Lacey, that I choose you above all others, and I will continue to choose you every day, for the rest of my life.”

Amber handed Lacey a tissue before it was her turn to speak. She was so unprepared for this, that she had not had time to prepare anything. She wasn’t sure what to say.

“Kaden, you once said that you would wait for me every day, and then you did it. At first, it was right here on this rock. This rock has been a significant memorial to you, to me, and for us. Now this rock also signifies something else. Now YOU have become my rock. My refuge from life. My safe place. I am finally home, because YOU are my home. I waited for you in my heart for years, and then you waited for me. My heart chose you long ago, and it has chosen you again. I will always choose you, my rock, the rest of my life.”

Then, without thinking, Lacey began to sing to Kaden; even though she didn’t remember all of the words. She was, in that moment, unaware of the people around her, the flowers, or the dogs. It was a song she had heard by Steven Curtis Chapman, and cried over many times, because she never had anyone who made her feel like they loved her that much. Nor had she ever had anyone she knew she loved that much.

Tomorrow morning if you wake up, And the sun does not appear; I, I will be here. If in the dark we lose sight of love, Hold my hand, and have no fear Cause I, I will be here.

I will be here when you feel like being quiet When you need to speak you mind I will listen and I will be here when the laughter turns to cryin’ through the winning, losing and tryin’ We’ll be together ‘cause I will be here.

Lacey began to cry again and could not finish the song. She didn’t remember the next verse anyway. She heard sniffles all around her, and Kaden’s eyes were moist.

After the little ceremony, everyone headed back to the shore of the lake. All the men carried the torches and brought back small tables and chairs from Amber and Bills house on a small hand pulled cart. Amber had even made small bouquets for each of the little tables, and the men built a fire pit for everyone to make smores. Toasts were made, and people laughed. Those who did not know each other got to know each other better and good times were had by all.

The people began to dwindle down and said their good-byes and congratulations to Kaden and Lacey. Lacey’s girls and Kaden’s daughter were staying in Amber’s guest house, and Kaden’s son, being and outdoor type, had pitched a tent near the lake.

Amber and Bill returned home, and Kaden and Lacey sat and watched the fire slowly turn into embers and fade away into darkness. Kaden held out his hand to Lacey. “May I escort you home, my lady?” He smiled.

Lacey smiled back and took hold. “Why thank you, my Lord.” She curtsied in front of him.

When they reached what would now be Lacey’s new home, Kaden picked her up and carried her into the house. “I have to carry you over the threshold.” He told her.

“Why do they do that?” Lacey asked giggling.

“I have no idea.” Kaden said. “Maybe it’s so they can’t change their minds at the last minute and run away.” He teased.

Once inside, Lacey reached behind him and shut the door. Kaden did not put her down, but instead carried her up the stairs and to what would now be their bed. He had decorated the room with vases of flowers everywhere and strewn rose petals all over the bed. Lacey looked up at him and smiled; then he kissed her.

That night, Kaden had reclaimed her completely. He had reclaimed her heart, her body, and she gave every fiber of her being to him. What had started out as a trip for Lacey to reclaim her own heart and heal, was now something more magnificent and far more healing. She had reclaimed him, and he had reclaimed her.

The next morning, Lacey woke to Kaden coming up the stairs carrying a tray of food for her with a single purple rose laying on it. She smiled at how he knew it was her favorite. She ate hungrily as he watched her.

“Quit watching me eat!” She said, blushing. “Why aren’t you eating, anyway? Aren’t you hungry?” She said with a mouthful of food.

“Oh, I’m hungry all right; but not for food.” Kaden looked down at her. “And I’m not watching you so much as waiting for you to finish.” He grinned.

Lacey blushed even more as she stifled a laugh and almost choked on her food.

“Well, in that case.” She said wiping her mouth with a napkin. “I’m finished.” She put the tray aside on the nightstand. Kaden leaned over to her and kissed her. Then he took her, and reclaimed her once again.

A while later, they heard engines outside, and Kaden jumped out of the bed. “That must be the movers. Guess we have to get up and get dressed now.” He said, throwing on a T shirt and jeans. Lacey got up too, and threw on a pair of jeans and a pink T shirt. They both went down stairs and opened the door just as the man driving the moving van got out. He came up to Kaden and handed him the keys and then got into a car that had followed him in, and they drove away.

“The kids will all be down here later to help us unload and unpack everything.” He said.

“Where in the world are we going to put it all?!” Lacey said, shaking her head at the huge truck. “We don’t have room for all of it, and a lot of it we have no need for either.” She continued.

Kaden quieted her with a kiss. “It doesn’t matter.” He said, then kissing her again. “I have everything I need right here.”

Lacey kissed Kaden back, and then he picked her up and took her back to her new bed again; tossing her down upon it with a laugh. “I changed my mind.” He said, pulling his shirt off over his head. “We don’t need to get up and get dressed right now at all.”

Lacey pulled him to her and unzipped his jeans, and then took off her shirt as well. “I married a very wise man.” She said, and she gave herself to him again.

Kaden kept his promises to Lacey and she kept her promises to him as they grew old together. They spent the remainder of their days exploring each other, discovering new things together, and reclaiming each other over and over again.


Delaney closed the leather-bound book in her hands and ran her fingers along the embossing. Her long dark hair falling over her face as she looked down at it.

“Is that the end?” Amorette asked, her big green eyes full of wonder.

Delaney looked back at her sister with her almond shape eyes, dark and full of tears.

“Yeah.” She said. Still looking down.

Giovanna walked over to Delaney on the other side of their mother’s room, where Delaney was sitting in a used, beat up easy chair their mother had found at a second-hand store. It was green and had dog hair all over it, and even a few stains, but Lacey loved it all the same.

“Can I see it?” Giovanna asked, reaching her hand out to Delaney.

“Sure.” Delaney said, handing their mother’s diary to her.

Amorette lounged on their mother’s bed and rested on her elbows. “So, who was this guy?” She asked.  “Who do you think he was?”

To be continued. 😊